Jul 5, 2026 · 1 hr 3 min · 13 segments
What happens when the belief system you were handed as a child starts to feel like a cage? Kelsey sits down with Kate Johnson, evangelical pastor's daughter turned Reiki practitioner and…
Kate JohnsonGuest
Kelsey AndersonHost
And then lastly, and this is just a personal, is I grew up during purity culture.

And if you really dive into purity culture, it's not biblical at all, but it was being taught as if it was biblical.

And every time you like hold hands with someone, every time you hug someone, every time you kiss someone, like a little bit of air gets let out of the balloon until you're absolutely nothing.

And so I made this promise, like I'm going to save my first kiss until my wedding day.

Because the promise within that was if you saved yourself and like repressed all your sexual desires and died to the self and all those sorts of things, then you would be rewarded with this great like Christian safe husband.

And I felt like I was no longer, like, my responsibility as a woman in those circles was to control the men so that they wouldn't violate me, basically.

Because men were taught that they had no control over their desires and women were taught to control the men and protect that.

And I also felt like I couldn't speak up or use my voice because purity culture, it didn't teach me consent.

So it really made me feel so much shame that really made me feel separated from my community.

And I think that's what shame does is it's such a toxic thing where I think when we are spiritually connected to ourselves, we feel that connectedness, but shame really separates us and makes us feel alone.

And I think that's probably the top thing that I see when I talk to people who go through deconstruction is they feel so alone because for one reason or another, they're wrestling with the shame and they feel very alone in the experience.

And then lastly, and this is just a personal, is I grew up during purity culture.

And if you really dive into purity culture, it's not biblical at all, but it was being taught as if it was biblical.

And every time you like hold hands with someone, every time you hug someone, every time you kiss someone, like a little bit of air gets let out of the balloon until you're absolutely nothing.

And so I made this promise, like I'm going to save my first kiss until my wedding day.

Because the promise within that was if you saved yourself and like repressed all your sexual desires and died to the self and all those sorts of things, then you would be rewarded with this great like Christian safe husband.

And I felt like I was no longer, like, my responsibility as a woman in those circles was to control the men so that they wouldn't violate me, basically.

Because men were taught that they had no control over their desires and women were taught to control the men and protect that.

And I also felt like I couldn't speak up or use my voice because purity culture, it didn't teach me consent.

So it really made me feel so much shame that really made me feel separated from my community.

And I think that's what shame does is it's such a toxic thing where I think when we are spiritually connected to ourselves, we feel that connectedness, but shame really separates us and makes us feel alone.

And I think that's probably the top thing that I see when I talk to people who go through deconstruction is they feel so alone because for one reason or another, they're wrestling with the shame and they feel very alone in the experience.
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