84. AITA for Skipping My Twin's Wedding and Saying It's Just a Party?

Okay, so our first dilemma is from True Off My Chest: I married my wife because I loved her, but I'm starting to think she only married me because I was safe.

We met in college.

She was stunning, popular, charismatic, and she chose me.

I was quiet, nerdy, never the guy women noticed, but she noticed me and I fell hard.

We've been married eight years now, but lately I can't stop noticing little things.

How she lights up talking about her career, her friends, but never about us.

How she always calls me her rock, but never seems really excited to spend time with me.

How sometimes she stares off when we're having dinner and seems a million miles away.

Tonight she fell asleep on the couch with her phone unlocked, and I saw she had been scrolling through her ex's Instagram.

Not messaging, just looking, but it felt like a punch to the gut.

I don't think she's cheating, but I'm starting to believe she married me because I was stable and wouldn't hurt her, like I was a plan B, the safe bet.

I love her with everything, and I have, and yet I can't shake the thought that she might not feel the same.

I don't know how to bring this up without sounding insecure.

I just needed to get this off my chest.

And off your chest you did.

[coughs]

Thank you.

Um, that's a hard one because unless she's made you feel that way, um, explicitly as well, this could just be a you thing, honestly, and it could just be your own insecurities.

If she doesn't make you feel less than, um, that, yeah, you're the boring option and she could've done better, this might just be all in your head.

Um, but if you do feel like you need to address it, I would say address it head-on.

Unfortunately, either way you're gonna look insecure.

Good luck.

Yeah.

I think that it's a conversation that, that does need to be direct, but I, I would approach it more from a status update, checking in type conversation.

Are you happy? Are you still happy with us? Is there anything more that I could do? You know, good, better, best type conversation.