I Lived Straight, Then Gay. Then I Landed in the Middle.

I lived a straight life. Then I lived a gay life. Both were real. Then I kept going and landed somewhere in the middle, and that feels right. But it's not without its challenges. This is my story: growing up closeted in the 80s and 90s in Pennsylvania, coming out in Boston at 24, living fifteen years fully immersed in the gay world, then going back into the closet in my 40s and realizing I'm not straight or gay, but somewhere in the middle. And upon realizing this, being confused and anxious about it as I was acclimating to moving out West — I found myself hiding non-straight parts of me in some straight groups, and assimilating while leaving true parts of myself behind in some gay groups. I also learned that ambiguity can sometimes lead to being mis-judged. So, I set out to make a community where guys like us can be ourselves without being mis-judged — while supporting each other. Middle Men is a podcast and private community for men who don't fit cleanly into society's straight or gay boxes. Maybe your life appears straight on the outside, but isn't so straight on the inside. Maybe you're bi or gay, but don't fit neatly into the spaces designed for you. Maybe you don't have a word for what you are — and maybe you don't want one. Either way, you exist somewhere in the middle — and the world doesn't have a lot of space for that. Middle Men does. No labels. No judgment. No pressure to come out and blow up the life you've built. No set of beliefs you need to adhere to or aspects of yourself you need to hide in order to belong. At Middle Men, you are welcome as your true self. If you saw yourself anywhere in this episode, you're not the only one. ⏱️ CHAPTERS - 0:00 — Intro - 1:01 — Growing Up Hiding It - 3:02 — Coming Out in Boston - 4:04 — 15 Years In — and Starting to Feel Different - 7:39 — The Reset: Covid, 40, and Changing Course - 9:12 — The Moment I Didn't See Coming - 10:17 — Why I Built Middle Men 🔗 JOIN THE COMMUNITY A private, anonymous space to connect with other guys in the middle: middlemen-podcast.com/community 📩 GET THE NEWSLETTERBi-weekly resources, articles, and content from the middle: middlemen-podcast.com/#newsletter 📝 READ MORE ON SUBSTACKArticles released bi-weekly on Substack, and release privately a week early in the Middle Men Community as a perk to members: middlemenwcfc.substack.com 🏃 JOIN THE STRAVA CLUBFor the runners, riders, endurance, and active-life guys: strava.com/clubs/middlemen 💸 SUPPORT MIDDLE MENDonate to support the podcast, online community, and more. https://www.middlemen-podcast.com/donate