26. Emotional Abuse in Marriage: How Men Lose Themselves and Find Their Way Back with John Fletcher

In this episode of the Men Need Love Too podcast, Kat Anna sits down with John "Philly" Fletcher, founder and host of the Common Ground Podcast, to discuss parental alienation, emotional abuse in marriage, male domestic violence, and rebuilding after divorce. Through John's personal experience, we explore reactive abuse, why men stay, the role of faith in healing, and practical ways to take the first step toward finding yourself again. John was a confident man with a plan, and over the course of a long marriage he slowly lost sight of himself. He speaks about that experience with honesty, accountability and a lot of heart, and about the faith and hard work that brought him back. John wants men who are where he once was to know two things: what you're feeling is real, and there is hope. You don't need to see the whole path, just the next step. We also talk about why men need to be counted in global domestic violence data. Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:30 Meet John "Philly" Fletcher 03:47 We have more in common than we think 07:20 Who John was before 08:32 Losing himself in a 17-year marriage 10:23 Never enough 12:08 Taking accountability 13:42 The darkest moments 14:23 What reactive abuse is 17:56 How long it took to see it 21:07 "If I was a woman, I would be in a shelter" 24:21 The goalposts always move 27:24 When family said stay 29:21 What it cost him with his kids 34:05 Choosing yourself as a parent 37:22 Men missing from global domestic violence data 39:32 There is hope 43:54 Healing alone in Myrtle Beach 47:40 Faith and the tap on the shoulder 58:21 Advice for a man still in it CONNECT WITH JOHN John "Philly" Fletcher is the founder and host of The Common Ground Podcast and the visionary behind The Common Ground Project USA, an organization dedicated to bringing people together through meaningful conversation, authentic storytelling, and respectful dialogue. Born and raised in Philadelphia, John spent years building a life around service, community, and human connection before deciding at age 50 to pursue what he calls his "dream podcast." What began as a passion project has grown into a platform where people from all walks of life share their stories, challenge assumptions, and discover that they often have more in common than they think. When he's not behind the microphone, John is focused on growing The Common Ground Project USA, mentoring aspiring podcasters, building community partnerships, and helping create opportunities for meaningful conversations that bring people together rather than drive them apart. Website: https://thecommongroundprojectusa.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1dBSN6pjST/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/phillygolive Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/635Ye66043FoUYxl0J92Jk?si=muqL94uhRqGeZOCEDbDyoQ Youtube: https://youtube.com/@thecommongroundprojectusa?si=B-TpM88uQgOSZNgq CONNECT WITH MEN NEED LOVE TOO Website: https://www.menneedlovetoo.org Kings Academy: https://menneedlovetoo.org/kings-academy/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1Bh9FgzbxR/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/men.need.love.too?igsh=MTR2dXNieDE3ZngyNw== Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MenNeedLoveTooPodcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kat-anna-1a7bb0358 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@menneedlovetoo.org?\_r=1&\_t=ZS-97LearC7OJb TAKE ACTION Sign the petition to include men in global domestic violence data: https://www.change.org/includemenglobaldvdata If this conversation resonated with you, subscribe, leave a review, share this episode and help more men discover these conversations. #MenNeedLoveToo #MaleSurvivors #EmotionalAbuse