Jun 15, 2026 · 25 min · 12 segments
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For all of this to make sense, we have to go back all the way to the 2010s.
It's the 2010s and women are done being underestimated.
We are done being passed over and talked over and paid less and taken less seriously.
And so we built an entire cultural identity around the idea of a woman who does not need anyone.
A strong, independent woman who don't need no man.
And honestly, at the time, it made perfect sense.
Because for so long, women have been told that our value was 100% tied to the home.
And we can only call ourselves a good woman if we kept a good home and took care of everyone in it.
And it felt like liberation.
But I hate to break it to everyone, okay? here's what was really happening while we were doing our darndest our hardest to liberate ourselves patriarchy was busy too in the background okay we did not dismantle the patriarchy we did not dismantle the old hierarchy we just built a new one if pre-girl boss era a good woman was a woman who kept a good home the girl boss era told all the girls and women that a good woman now was a woman who kept a good career and if you didn't fit the mold then you're lagging you're falling behind you're not doing enough you're lazy and you're a loser being a trad wife is maybe one of the most pathetic things you could be and the 2010s girl boss babe era definitely introduced a hierarchy that ranked women's worth based on their education level job title and like all these external metrics and we all thought that was progress bless our hearts but the reality is a new hierarchy to rank women is still a hierarchy and because the new model of girl boss boss babery was still highly hierarchical it was still misogynistic towards women who did not fit the mold of the girl boss boss babery that was being promoted it's difficult to admit this but Okay, if we can't be honest, then we can't move forward, right? It's difficult to accept, but the 2010s girl boss culture punished women who didn't escape the specific cages of patriarchy the same exact prescribed 2010s girl boss boss babe way.
The 2010s girlboss culture, it touted higher education and prioritization of career as a means of escape from financial vulnerability in heterosexual relationships.
And this prioritization came at a cost of disavowing or delaying motherhood, of purchasing professional services instead of relying on community for aid, of outsourcing the domestic entirely.
I can't help but feel that there is this undertone of misogyny there just because this type of labor is usually performed by women and in a bid for empowerment.
The girl boss, boss babe era determined that the domestic coded labor is lower prestige labor and is something that one should not aspire to.
I think in society we're told that our roles are not as important as your roles so I would just like her to know that like it's okay to want to be a wife and mother and just do that and not have a career.
So that was definitely one of the more problematic parts of the girl boss boss babe culture but what the girl boss boss babe culture at the time did was bring about solutions to solve women's financial vulnerability in heterosexual relationships because it is a real problem and a very serious one so the girlboss era wasn't wrong that economic dependence on a partner is a form of vulnerability and it also was not wrong about how women do need access to education and their own income and financial autonomy the problem was it just wasn't fully correct about that solution the solution that the girlboss era offered was very individualistic and it was not about inducing systemic change the girlboss took it upon herself to fix all of these issues so instead of bringing up how their partners could be equitable sharers of the domestic labor or advocating for affordable child care.
the girlboss's solution was just to opt out of motherhood or delay it entirely.
the girlboss leaned in and she didn't call out the people and the systems who were meant to share the load with her.
and we're not going to blame the girlboss era for like all the ills of society but it's okay to point out like where that era was lacking so that we can make up for it in this here era that we are in right now another thing i wanted to point out was the girl boss she did not demand that her partner do half of the domestic labor instead like i said she hired a cleaner she did not demand that her workplace accommodate motherhood and instead she delayed having children and the overall vibe is like she was just not demanding systemic change she was really getting paid instead of getting mad right and she learned to navigate systems that were not made for her and she thrived in it and no doubt she really was successful at it but here's the thing the girl boss did not check her privilege the girl boss as a blueprint only worked because the girl boss had access to the blueprint and had the resources and the support to carry out the blueprint the girl boss blueprint worked if your parent could contribute to your tuition or at least cooperate with your financial aid paperwork and if they knew how to do that in the first place the blueprint worked if you had the kind of family support that meant that you could take an unpaid internship or move to a new city for an opportunity even though you barely have a job and it worked if your body and your mind cooperated with the grind if you are that type of person you're not disabled or chronically ill or just unable to stay in these very regimented corporate workplaces and it also worked if you have the cultural capital to walk into a room and be taken seriously because you know how to dress you know how to act you know how to speak and it all worked if you had all these doors open for you and for the women who did not have access to all of these things, the girl boss era did not offer liberation.
it offered shame.
it was a huge lie.
the girl boss era showed all the other girls and women who were non-girl bosses because they did not have the privilege of being girl bosses It showed them everything that they were supposed to be and everything that they were failing to be.
And shame is such a powerful motivator.
Shame is the pipeline through which young women are increasingly becoming radicalized.
For all of this to make sense, we have to go back all the way to the 2010s.
It's the 2010s and women are done being underestimated.
We are done being passed over and talked over and paid less and taken less seriously.
And so we built an entire cultural identity around the idea of a woman who does not need anyone.
A strong, independent woman who don't need no man.
And honestly, at the time, it made perfect sense.
Because for so long, women have been told that our value was 100% tied to the home.
And we can only call ourselves a good woman if we kept a good home and took care of everyone in it.
And it felt like liberation.
But I hate to break it to everyone, okay? here's what was really happening while we were doing our darndest our hardest to liberate ourselves patriarchy was busy too in the background okay we did not dismantle the patriarchy we did not dismantle the old hierarchy we just built a new one if pre-girl boss era a good woman was a woman who kept a good home the girl boss era told all the girls and women that a good woman now was a woman who kept a good career and if you didn't fit the mold then you're lagging you're falling behind you're not doing enough you're lazy and you're a loser being a trad wife is maybe one of the most pathetic things you could be and the 2010s girl boss babe era definitely introduced a hierarchy that ranked women's worth based on their education level job title and like all these external metrics and we all thought that was progress bless our hearts but the reality is a new hierarchy to rank women is still a hierarchy and because the new model of girl boss boss babery was still highly hierarchical it was still misogynistic towards women who did not fit the mold of the girl boss boss babery that was being promoted it's difficult to admit this but Okay, if we can't be honest, then we can't move forward, right? It's difficult to accept, but the 2010s girl boss culture punished women who didn't escape the specific cages of patriarchy the same exact prescribed 2010s girl boss boss babe way.
The 2010s girlboss culture, it touted higher education and prioritization of career as a means of escape from financial vulnerability in heterosexual relationships.
And this prioritization came at a cost of disavowing or delaying motherhood, of purchasing professional services instead of relying on community for aid, of outsourcing the domestic entirely.
I can't help but feel that there is this undertone of misogyny there just because this type of labor is usually performed by women and in a bid for empowerment.
The girl boss, boss babe era determined that the domestic coded labor is lower prestige labor and is something that one should not aspire to.
I think in society we're told that our roles are not as important as your roles so I would just like her to know that like it's okay to want to be a wife and mother and just do that and not have a career.
So that was definitely one of the more problematic parts of the girl boss boss babe culture but what the girl boss boss babe culture at the time did was bring about solutions to solve women's financial vulnerability in heterosexual relationships because it is a real problem and a very serious one so the girlboss era wasn't wrong that economic dependence on a partner is a form of vulnerability and it also was not wrong about how women do need access to education and their own income and financial autonomy the problem was it just wasn't fully correct about that solution the solution that the girlboss era offered was very individualistic and it was not about inducing systemic change the girlboss took it upon herself to fix all of these issues so instead of bringing up how their partners could be equitable sharers of the domestic labor or advocating for affordable child care.
the girlboss's solution was just to opt out of motherhood or delay it entirely.
the girlboss leaned in and she didn't call out the people and the systems who were meant to share the load with her.
and we're not going to blame the girlboss era for like all the ills of society but it's okay to point out like where that era was lacking so that we can make up for it in this here era that we are in right now another thing i wanted to point out was the girl boss she did not demand that her partner do half of the domestic labor instead like i said she hired a cleaner she did not demand that her workplace accommodate motherhood and instead she delayed having children and the overall vibe is like she was just not demanding systemic change she was really getting paid instead of getting mad right and she learned to navigate systems that were not made for her and she thrived in it and no doubt she really was successful at it but here's the thing the girl boss did not check her privilege the girl boss as a blueprint only worked because the girl boss had access to the blueprint and had the resources and the support to carry out the blueprint the girl boss blueprint worked if your parent could contribute to your tuition or at least cooperate with your financial aid paperwork and if they knew how to do that in the first place the blueprint worked if you had the kind of family support that meant that you could take an unpaid internship or move to a new city for an opportunity even though you barely have a job and it worked if your body and your mind cooperated with the grind if you are that type of person you're not disabled or chronically ill or just unable to stay in these very regimented corporate workplaces and it also worked if you have the cultural capital to walk into a room and be taken seriously because you know how to dress you know how to act you know how to speak and it all worked if you had all these doors open for you and for the women who did not have access to all of these things, the girl boss era did not offer liberation.
it offered shame.
it was a huge lie.
the girl boss era showed all the other girls and women who were non-girl bosses because they did not have the privilege of being girl bosses It showed them everything that they were supposed to be and everything that they were failing to be.
And shame is such a powerful motivator.
Shame is the pipeline through which young women are increasingly becoming radicalized.
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