Accidentally Knocked Laptop Off of Shtender - Must He Pay?

I got an interesting shaila this week where a woman took upon herself a commitment that she's only gonna hear kiddush from her husband.

Problem is this week she won't be able to hear kiddush from her husband, and she wanted to know if she needs to have a hattaras nedarim, she needs to annul her vow, her commitment.

Can it, can it be done on Shabbos? This question came in right before Shabbos.

And how is it done? So just to, to go through the details of this question, the Halacha is that when it comes to a minhag tov, a positive thing which has some root in, in Torah and Yiddishkeit, then if a person commits to do this on a regular basis, or even if they haven't made any formal commitment, they just started doing bistam without any commitment.

They've already done it three times.

So once they do it three times, it's considered a commitment, and they're bound to do it.

And if they want to stop doing it, there's a concept of hattaras nedarim, of annulment of vows.

When it comes specifically to a vow associated with tzedakah, with hegdish, with a mitzvah, and on that-- in that category falls and also minhag tov, a positive, good custom, even gamar ba'libo, even if a person just in their mind mentally makes a decision that this is what they're going to be doing, that becomes-- takes on the force of a neder at least mid'Raban, at least rabbinically.

Now, it's important to point out that gamar ba'libo means making a decision.

Often people think of different things.

Yeah, it's a good idea to do X, Y, Z, but if it wasn't gamar ba'libo, it wasn't-- gamar means complete.

It also has that meaning.

If it's complete formal decision, I decided I'm going to give now a donation to this and this institution a hundred dollars.

That's what we call nidrei tzedakah.

Sometimes, yeah, it might be a good idea to give, but people are derech adam lehiys bachol.

People keep on changing their mind.

Yeah, a hundred shekels, fifty shekels.

So you don't have to keep on obsessing that the fact that I originally thought a hundred means I can't go down.

But once you made a decision...

So here she made that decision, and that was her question.

So now let, let's, let's go into the details of this question.

Is there anything positive halachically with hearing kiddush specifically from your husband? There's no such thing.

There's no advantage for a woman to hear kiddush from her husband specifically.

It really doesn't fall on the minhag tov.

A lot of women think it's respectful for the husband.