In Their Words: COA Lives with Jonathan Ashworth
Sep 22, 2026 · 38 min · 12 segments
COA Lives returns for Series 2 with Nacoa patron, broadcaster and author Vicky Pattison. In this deeply personal conversation with Jonathan Ashworth, Vicky opens up about growing up with her dad’s…
Vicky PattisonGuest
Jonathan AshworthHostWhen did you first, when growing up, realise or begin to sort of think there's a problem here?
I think whatever environment you grow up in as a child, you're like so sheltered, aren't you? Like for the most part, like you just...
you assume the family and the love and everything you experience is the norm, you know? And it's not until you're quite a lot older that you can actually discern that some of the things you were exposed to or some of the dynamics were potentially toxic or problematic or not normal.
I thought all families were boozy yeah and loud and sometimes a little bit scary i didn't i didn't realize that my family dynamic was different to other people's i i also think it's really important i mention here like I loved my life.
And some of the earliest memories are them like all singing Marvin Gaye in the conservatory.
It was just that when that fun element, that party stopped and everyone else went home, And then I was sort of faced with the reality that my dad's drinking wasn't just this happy, lovely, fun man.
It descended into sometimes aggression and anger and frustration and things.
So I think I was unaware that something was wrong until sort of like high school, maybe.
And as I got older and older... was exposed to more, met more people, spoke more, grew up, became a bit more self-aware.
When did you first, when growing up, realise or begin to sort of think there's a problem here?
I think whatever environment you grow up in as a child, you're like so sheltered, aren't you? Like for the most part, like you just...
you assume the family and the love and everything you experience is the norm, you know? And it's not until you're quite a lot older that you can actually discern that some of the things you were exposed to or some of the dynamics were potentially toxic or problematic or not normal.
I thought all families were boozy yeah and loud and sometimes a little bit scary i didn't i didn't realize that my family dynamic was different to other people's i i also think it's really important i mention here like I loved my life.
And some of the earliest memories are them like all singing Marvin Gaye in the conservatory.
It was just that when that fun element, that party stopped and everyone else went home, And then I was sort of faced with the reality that my dad's drinking wasn't just this happy, lovely, fun man.
It descended into sometimes aggression and anger and frustration and things.
So I think I was unaware that something was wrong until sort of like high school, maybe.
And as I got older and older... was exposed to more, met more people, spoke more, grew up, became a bit more self-aware.
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