Overcoming Painful Intimacy with Leilani Volkman

Leilani Volkmann, 37, a realtor and mom of three, joins pelvic floor physical therapist Bree Alred on Healing at Your Core to share how she experienced painful sex for 13 years after marrying at 19 and was told by an OB it was “all in her head.” After learning about pelvic floor PT through social media and meeting Bree via Bree’s husband, she sought help when symptoms worsened after her third C-section and found significant relief in about eight sessions, though anxiety around sex persisted for months. They discuss how nervous system “caveman brain/scary movie mode” responses drive protective pelvic floor tightening, why learning to relax (the opposite of Kegels) and using graded dilators/manual therapy can help, and how arousal, anatomy, vibrators, and individualized lubricants relate to pain and orgasm. 00:00 Painful Sex for 13 Years 01:09 Podcast Intro and Mission 01:36 Meet Leilani Volkmann 03:06 Why She Shares Openly 05:55 Dismissed by Doctors 07:18 Finding Pelvic Floor PT 08:12 Desperation and Supportive Husband 11:06 Pain Patterns and Vibrator Breakthrough 13:28 Emotional Toll and Desire Mismatch 17:09 Dilators and Caveman Brain 20:14 Learning to Release Not Kegels 22:39 Safety Trust and Rewriting the Story 25:27 Aftereffects Energy and Body Memory 28:32 First Visit Fears 30:35 What Pelvic PT Looks Like 32:05 Dilators And Nervous System 34:23 G Spot And Anatomy 35:37 Orgasm Stats And Norms 37:00 Arousal Changes Pain 39:19 Lube Choices And Sensitivities 40:32 Early Help For Tampon Pain 42:56 Advice And Support 48:29 Therapy Can Still Hurt 49:14 Rapid Fire Questions 50:57 Closing And Share Thank you for listening to *Healing at Your Core*. If today's conversation resonated with you, please share this episode with someone who could benefit from it. Every share helps us reach more women who may be silently living with symptoms they think they have to accept, when healing is truly possible. Have a wonderful day. **Bree Allred, PT, DPT, PRPC** *"Common does not mean normal. Healing begins when we start the conversation."* ## CONNECT with Bree & Access Trusted Pelvic Health Resources Discover expert education, practical tools, and evidence-based guidance designed to help you better understand your body and take the next step toward healing. You'll also gain access to valuable resources and become part of a supportive community of women who are restoring comfort, confidence, and quality of life through every season. **Join FREE at:** www.aylarapelvichealth.com **Follow Bree on Social Media:** Facebook | Instagram | YouTube | LinkedIn **Bonus Resource:** Schedule your **FREE Discovery Call** and learn how personalized pelvic floor physical therapy can help you restore movement, comfort, and confidence.