The Pressure to Do It All: Motherhood and Work :: Melissa Harrison [Ep 594]

[gentle music] Okay, there's so much we can talk about with the why, why women feel the pressure.

No one can s- quite sort it out.

The whole mental load thing has started coming up.

But as Christian women, I feel like we have a whole nother layer of [laughs] is the pressure coming from a s- unrealistic standard we're holding ourself to, or a pressure to kinda prove yourself at work or prove yourself at home, kind of that whole comparison thing online we have, or even with our own friends if you're not posting anything online.

Like, there's so much to... beyond just showing up, but having to prove ourselves that's added onto it.

So I'm curious, like, what kinda messaging does Forward give y- your women to kinda help them lose, [laughs] or not lose, lessen-

Yeah

... that tension and pressure?

Yeah, I think a lot of it recently in conversation I've, I've been having with women is the sense of understanding what you bring into the room.

You know, so often we can be responding to things in real time that you feel, like you feel triggered by something, or you feel like it's just this one coworker, it's just this one mom in the mom group.

It's just this one...

You know, this other thing externally that's impacting you or irritating.

But really kind of understanding, stepping back and be like, okay, what, what do you bring into the room? Like, who was the person in your life that may have been the one who got the most attention? Who was the loudest one in the family, or where- was it the quietest one? Was it somebody who, um, you know, understanding why you respond the way you do.

I think there's such a...

Which it's interesting because both at work and home, there's nothing more humbling [laughs] than parenthood and leadership both.

Yeah.

And I think, you know, right when you think you're doing one, you're nailing it, you're really getting it down, there's something comes along that just makes you realize you have so much to learn.

Yeah.

And I think that there is this sense that, um, you know, for women to understand that a lot of times that pressure is coming from somewhere that you may not even consciously be aware of, but really start to look back on, you know, family dynamics.

Or why is it, even that question why, like, why is it that you have this pressure, and have you placed it on yourself, to your point? 'Cause I think too often we do.

We are like, can be our own worst enemies because we have this standard of excellence that is just unattainable, you know? Or it's gonna be exhausting even if you can get there.

So some of what I've just heard from some of our leadership women who speak into this is, is to take the time, and whether that's on your own journaling and processing, like really the feeling, like, why is this person triggering me? What is the thing [laughs] that's irritating me? Um, and then also through therapy, which is always a good reminder for me.

I'm not currently in therapy, but I've- the times in my life when I have had it, I just leaps and bounds of growth.

So it's a good reminder, too, if you're feeling stuck, or you really f- are feel in a loop, it's like maybe it is time to talk to somebody else, whether it's a executive coach, a life coach, or a therapist who can really help kind of identify where is that coming from, what's the root, because I think until you do identify that, it's just hard to create change.

We're just in such a response mode a lot of times, and survival mode for many moms just getting through the day.