Episode 35: Finding the Missing Pieces: Absent Fathers, Identity and Men’s Mental Health with Simon Gordon

**Finding the Missing Pieces: Absent Fathers, Identity and Men’s Mental Health with Simon Gordon** What happens to our sense of identity when part of our family history is missing? In this deeply personal episode of *Dare to Speak: Difficult Conversations That Change Everything*, Eve Stanway is joined by Simon Gordon, founder of Alexander Media Creative, to explore absent fathers, family separation, identity and the lifelong search to understand who we are. Simon grew up with his biological mother and was adopted by his stepfather, while knowing very little about his biological father or paternal family. When Simon became a father himself, questions about his family history began to rise to the surface. What started as a desire to understand where he came from became a profound journey through family trauma, rejection, abandonment, anxiety, depression and, eventually, psychotherapy. Simon speaks openly about reconnecting with his biological father and siblings, changing his surname and discovering characteristics in his paternal family that helped him understand his creativity, entrepreneurial spirit and way of seeing the world. He also describes putting on a smile and appearing cheerful and capable while privately going through hell, before having a nervous breakdown in June 2020 and beginning the gradual process of rebuilding his nervous system, confidence and sense of self. Together, Eve and Simon explore why children affected by separation need more than contact arrangements. They need access to their history, their wider family and the different parts of themselves reflected in both sides of their family. They also discuss men’s mental health, the absence of older men to turn to for guidance and the importance of creating spaces where men can talk honestly about anxiety, depression, rejection and emotional pain. The conversation moves from personal visibility to professional visibility, examining why knowing who you are can help you show up more confidently in your relationships, your work and your business. This episode is for anyone who has struggled with an absent parent, unanswered questions about childhood, family estrangement or the feeling that an important part of their identity is missing. It is also an important listen for separated parents considering how family history, belonging and identity may affect their children as they grow into adulthood. In this episode, we explore: - Growing up with an absent biological father - How family separation can affect a child’s identity - Reconnecting with a biological parent as an adult - The emotional impact of unanswered questions about childhood - Rejection, abandonment and family estrangement - Changing your name as an expression of identity - Men’s mental health, anxiety and depression - Rebuilding after a nervous breakdown - How psychotherapy can help us trust our thoughts and feelings - Why men need people with whom they can speak openly - The absence of older men to turn to for guidance - Intergenerational trauma and the importance of family history - Authenticity, personal visibility and showing up in business - How difficult conversations can help us understand who we are **About Simon Gordon** Simon Gordon is the founder of Alexander Media Creative and an Event and Digital Visibility Strategist. He helps female entrepreneurs and leaders elevate their visibility online with confidence and authenticity. With nine years of experience across communications and media, Simon creates digital and print content that helps businesses tell their stories and connect with their audiences. His work includes photography, videography, social media content, web design and practical SEO. Simon also brings more than 15 years of project management experience, including leading high-profile projects, managing teams and overseeing financial budgets. Today, he combines creativity and strategy to help ambitious women build beautiful, visible and impactful brands. Connect with Simon Website: [www.alexandermedia.co.uk](htttp://www.alexandermedia.co.uk) Instagram: @alexmediacreative Facebook: Alexander Media Creative LinkedIn: Alexander Media Creative TikTok: @alexmediacreative YouTube: Alex Media Creative Chapter markers - **01:07** – Introducing Simon Gordon - **02:44** – Growing up with an absent biological father - **04:27** – Meeting Simon’s paternal siblings and father - **06:20** – Hearing both sides of your family history - **08:03** – Discovering creativity and entrepreneurship in his paternal family - **10:37** – Rejection, abandonment and ending the relationship with his mother - **12:11** – What children of separation need to know about their history - **14:19** – Changing his surname and reclaiming his identity - **16:35** – Psychotherapy, intuition and learning to trust himself - **18:21** – Men, emotions and living behind a mask - **21:32** – The absence of older men to turn to - **23:42** – Personal identity and professional visibility - **27:54** – Intergenerational trauma and reconnecting with family - **31:09** – Anxiety, depression and the impact of psychotherapy - **34:22** – Simon’s message for anyone who feels alone Thank you for listening. If you would like to comment or share a difficult conversation topic for a future podcast, please message me.🫶✨️ **Connect with Eve Stanway** If this episode has resonated with you, the conversation does not have to stop here. If you would like to explore working with Eve, book a free 20-minute chat. This is a relaxed, confidential opportunity to talk about what is happening, what support you need and whether working together feels right for you. Website: www.evestanway.co.uk Email: [eve@evestanway.co.uk](mailto:eve@evestanway.co.uk) If you would like thoughtful, non-judgemental support away from the noise and exposure of social media, you are warmly invited to join Eve’s **Dare to Speak Community**. It is a private online space where you can learn how to approach difficult conversations with greater confidence, manage emotional overwhelm and feel supported by people who understand how hard these situations can be. You will also have access to Eve’s courses, expert interviews, monthly webinars and live Power Hour question-and-answer sessions. Join the Dare to Speak Community: https://join.evestanway.co.uk/ You can also connect with Eve here: Instagram: @evestanway Facebook: Eve Stanway LinkedIn: Eve Stanway YouTube: @evestanway TikTok: @evestanway Substack: Eve Stanway If you are navigating separation or divorce and want to approach it with clarity rather than conflict, visit ...