Mary Alice Stephens, award-winning storyteller & former television writer-producer

Well, the first thing I did was write a list of scenes that were moments, pivotal moments I just made bullet points of scenes.

And then I made a separate set of bullet points, which evolved as I wrote.

Like, what's the universal message? What am I also trying to talk about here? So for me, the book was about getting sober and staying sober, but it was really about self-acceptance and creating a new identity that didn't revolve around alcohol, which affected all of my relationships.

and my sense of self-acceptance and how do I deal with all those emotions that I used to drink away, like loneliness and vulnerability.

So I kind of did my bullet points.

I'm kind of type A, I'm a little organized that way, but that gave me the freedom to relax and tell my stories.

So I felt like I just typed out the scenes as I remembered them.

And then I turned it into literature.

And I think that the time that at least my two year break helped me separate the me then and the me now.

So it made it easier for me to write about myself in a real exposed, vulnerable way because I had done the work of recovery to be at peace with that's who I was and this is who I am.

That makes sense.

And then, you know, the other part of this, and I'm, I'm speaking to some people that I know through Redwood writers and folks, if you're in the writing community and you're listening to this podcast and you're on the fence about writing your own memoir, I'm going to give a shameless self plug for the Sonoma County writers conference of which Mary Alice will be one of our featured presenters there.

And the morning session immediately after second, after the keynote speaker before lunch, um, it, What was I going to say? How do you go about pulling in some of the emotional stories? So when you actually started to write these, you have the bullet point outline.

You started to kind of do the me then, me now.

But when you're telling the story, did you just start brain dumping? And I call it barfing on the page.

Just get the stuff out and then clean up the mess later.

Tell people a little bit about your process is what I'm asking.

Yeah, I didn't realize it at that time, but what I was doing was recreating the event in my mind and just typing it out and trying to use my five senses, you know, really putting myself back in that moment.

And then when I had some critiques of my work.

I was told like, okay, you're telling us what happened, but I'm not getting inside of you.

I want to know what your reactions are and what your feelings are.

But because you feel so exposed writing even what happened, you feel like all your guts are on the page, right? But you're probably withholding.

So it's more of a second draft, third draft thing where you really make sure that somebody can really feel you on the page.

And that's incredibly important in any kind of literature, whether it's fiction or nonfiction in the form of a memoir to be able to, and in selling, I've been in sales and advertising for 35 years, of finding that connection point because people want to find the relatability in what it is that they're reading, whether it's fiction or otherwise.

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