Oct 14, 2026 · 26 min · 10 segments
Warning: This episode discusses domestic violence and other sensitive subjects. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. More than 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the U.S. have experienced rape…
Thank you so much for having me here, Emily, and for helping elevate Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Well, we appreciate you being here, um, talking, um, both about, uh, what you're doing at your organization and just the survivor experience that people should be aware of across the board.
Uh, you, you know, you are definitely an advocate, um, but you also have lived experience.
So can you just talk a little bit to start us off about how growing up around domestic violence had an effect on you?
Thank you so much for that first question, and of course, um, there can be long-lasting impacts for children who witness violence in their home or experience it directly.
I've worked, of course, through, and continue to work through those experiences because it's a long-term process.
What is important to share here, however, is that while there was violence in the home, uh, as I was growing up, there was also a lot of people who cared for me.
We had neighbors that intervene, and most importantly, in retrospect now, I had a mother who was strategic and strong in the midst of a lot of chaos.
She did all she could to protect us, and in fact, that's what many survivors of domestic violence do.
And only survivors know what the abuser is capable of doing, and many times, again, that's the reason why survivors stay, to protect their life and to protect their life of their children.
And so my lived experience truly shapes my understanding of how, um, you know, now as an adult, of the many young adult decisions I made, my own behavioral issues as a child, but also because of experiencing violence in the home, but also other contexts like immaturity and brain development and living in poverty and, again, many other contexts shaped my life.
Um, and this experience can resonate with many children that are living in homes where violence is present.
Uh, poverty and lack of access to mental health therapy, counseling resources for youth, has a critical impact in building healthy coping mechanisms and resiliency and moving forward.
But one thing, um, that I do want to highlight from my experience is that while my mother experienced domestic violence, I was never taken away from her care, and I really truly thank God for that.
Many, many children right here in the state of Iowa are often used as a tool to punish survivors for the violence that they had absolutely no control over, and their children are taken away, which is a horrific practice.
And I just want to elevate the strategies, the power of survivors, um, in protecting their children and what they do.
And the only person that should be held accountable for, uh, this violence is the person causing the harm.
And this is one of many reasons why survivors don't seek help, why survivors don't leave, because at times the outcome can be the removal of their children.
I've witnessed this terrible practice as a direct service provider with victim, um, victims across Iowa, but also as the CEO of the coalition now.
Thank you so much for having me here, Emily, and for helping elevate Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Well, we appreciate you being here, um, talking, um, both about, uh, what you're doing at your organization and just the survivor experience that people should be aware of across the board.
Uh, you, you know, you are definitely an advocate, um, but you also have lived experience.
So can you just talk a little bit to start us off about how growing up around domestic violence had an effect on you?
Thank you so much for that first question, and of course, um, there can be long-lasting impacts for children who witness violence in their home or experience it directly.
I've worked, of course, through, and continue to work through those experiences because it's a long-term process.
What is important to share here, however, is that while there was violence in the home, uh, as I was growing up, there was also a lot of people who cared for me.
We had neighbors that intervene, and most importantly, in retrospect now, I had a mother who was strategic and strong in the midst of a lot of chaos.
She did all she could to protect us, and in fact, that's what many survivors of domestic violence do.
And only survivors know what the abuser is capable of doing, and many times, again, that's the reason why survivors stay, to protect their life and to protect their life of their children.
And so my lived experience truly shapes my understanding of how, um, you know, now as an adult, of the many young adult decisions I made, my own behavioral issues as a child, but also because of experiencing violence in the home, but also other contexts like immaturity and brain development and living in poverty and, again, many other contexts shaped my life.
Um, and this experience can resonate with many children that are living in homes where violence is present.
Uh, poverty and lack of access to mental health therapy, counseling resources for youth, has a critical impact in building healthy coping mechanisms and resiliency and moving forward.
But one thing, um, that I do want to highlight from my experience is that while my mother experienced domestic violence, I was never taken away from her care, and I really truly thank God for that.
Many, many children right here in the state of Iowa are often used as a tool to punish survivors for the violence that they had absolutely no control over, and their children are taken away, which is a horrific practice.
And I just want to elevate the strategies, the power of survivors, um, in protecting their children and what they do.
And the only person that should be held accountable for, uh, this violence is the person causing the harm.
And this is one of many reasons why survivors don't seek help, why survivors don't leave, because at times the outcome can be the removal of their children.
I've witnessed this terrible practice as a direct service provider with victim, um, victims across Iowa, but also as the CEO of the coalition now.
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