Laughing at an Indifferent Universe
Facing cosmic indifference with unexpected defiance today
May 21, 2026 · 1 hr 3 min · 11 segments
Doom scrolling on YouTube may usually be a waste of time but occasionally you stumble across a real, hidden gem. That happened to me a few weeks ago. I like watching YouTube videos about art and art…
As I said, I don't know why I decided to start filming beyond I started talking to myself while I was filming and realized it was this little bit of a wasted opportunity if I didn't have the cameras out.
[laughs] So there were probably three or four episodes before I started where the, you know, they were never captured.
You didn't take workshops or anything like that, or watch video courses or anything to develop your artistic ability.
I've picked up on quite a bit more since then through comments on the YouTube channel and other things, but yeah, no, no traditional training.
S- since you're a filmmaker and a painter, I don't know if you ever knew, um, uh, the cinematographer by the name of, uh, Rodney Charters.
We had a conversation and he says sometimes people come up and ask him, "Should I go to film school?" And back in those days, it was $50,000, $100,000 to go to film school.
And he says, "I always told them," and he says, "I know people are gonna get mad at me for saying this, but the best way to spend that 50,000, if you got $50,000 or you g- you're going in debt for $50,000, go out and make a movie." [laughs] "Just, just start shooting.
You're gonna learn more by the doing than listening to some lecture and some crazy made-up labs in a, in a, uh, a film school." And I think that principle applies a lot to us becoming painters, being painters.
I, I would, I would say that people have different temperaments, different personalities, and there's something with me where until I make that darn mistake myself, I j- it just doesn't sink in.
And so I had to make every stupid mistake imaginable with, uh, with filmmaking in order to learn on set.
As I said, I don't know why I decided to start filming beyond I started talking to myself while I was filming and realized it was this little bit of a wasted opportunity if I didn't have the cameras out.
[laughs] So there were probably three or four episodes before I started where the, you know, they were never captured.
You didn't take workshops or anything like that, or watch video courses or anything to develop your artistic ability.
I've picked up on quite a bit more since then through comments on the YouTube channel and other things, but yeah, no, no traditional training.
S- since you're a filmmaker and a painter, I don't know if you ever knew, um, uh, the cinematographer by the name of, uh, Rodney Charters.
We had a conversation and he says sometimes people come up and ask him, "Should I go to film school?" And back in those days, it was $50,000, $100,000 to go to film school.
And he says, "I always told them," and he says, "I know people are gonna get mad at me for saying this, but the best way to spend that 50,000, if you got $50,000 or you g- you're going in debt for $50,000, go out and make a movie." [laughs] "Just, just start shooting.
You're gonna learn more by the doing than listening to some lecture and some crazy made-up labs in a, in a, uh, a film school." And I think that principle applies a lot to us becoming painters, being painters.
I, I would, I would say that people have different temperaments, different personalities, and there's something with me where until I make that darn mistake myself, I j- it just doesn't sink in.
And so I had to make every stupid mistake imaginable with, uh, with filmmaking in order to learn on set.
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3 of 5
Laughing at an Indifferent Universe
Facing cosmic indifference with unexpected defiance today
Brushstrokes Require Inner Calm
Why emotional alignment shapes every brushstroke made
Forbidden Films, Secret Lessons
Strict childhood sparks secret filmmaking origin story
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