All There Is with Anderson Cooper
May 28, 2026 · 36 min · 11 segments
Mariska Hargitay was three when she survived the car crash that killed her mother, actress Jayne Mansfield. She talks with Anderson Cooper about her search to know her mother, and heal the pain of her…
Mariska HargitayGuest
Anderson CooperHost
[gentle music] I think that's where I start now, is looking that here is our mother, this little girl whose father died when she was three years old, and she was in the car with him.
As a child, I did always feel separate, and of course, I didn't know about why I felt so separate, but I just knew that I was, like, on this island by myself.
My whole life, I feel like I've had a hole in my heart, just something has always been wrong.
Something could never be filled, and there was always just this incredible sadness.
When I look back at the photos of me, there was a lot of frozen smiles, and I remember I had a big personality, and I was very happy, but when I got sad, I don't think my parents knew how to deal with it, so they would tell me to snap out of it and that I was like a black cloud.
And that was really rough for me because I learned quickly that there wasn't room for my sadness, and now I see it as it was too much for my dad.
He had so much grief and so much pain and so much that he almost couldn't handle anymore.
And so I learned very young to be the joy bringer, to be fun girl, to be just every room I walked into, light it up and make it better.
It's not only exhausting, but you betray yourself and you sacrifice yourself and you become a people pleaser, and you do everything for other people to keep them happy.
And there's a lot of good things to it too, but it's been a very beautiful journey of integration and unencumbering.
And I just have so much more internal space for everything, for my family, for my children, for my creativity, for my acting, for my directing, and I just have a peace that I never had before.
Making this film was one of the most liberating things that I've ever done because people said, "Oh, it's so personal.
I, I can't believe how vulnerable you are." But our vulnerability is our greatest strength and our greatest connector.
[gentle music] I think that's where I start now, is looking that here is our mother, this little girl whose father died when she was three years old, and she was in the car with him.
As a child, I did always feel separate, and of course, I didn't know about why I felt so separate, but I just knew that I was, like, on this island by myself.
My whole life, I feel like I've had a hole in my heart, just something has always been wrong.
Something could never be filled, and there was always just this incredible sadness.
When I look back at the photos of me, there was a lot of frozen smiles, and I remember I had a big personality, and I was very happy, but when I got sad, I don't think my parents knew how to deal with it, so they would tell me to snap out of it and that I was like a black cloud.
And that was really rough for me because I learned quickly that there wasn't room for my sadness, and now I see it as it was too much for my dad.
He had so much grief and so much pain and so much that he almost couldn't handle anymore.
And so I learned very young to be the joy bringer, to be fun girl, to be just every room I walked into, light it up and make it better.
It's not only exhausting, but you betray yourself and you sacrifice yourself and you become a people pleaser, and you do everything for other people to keep them happy.
And there's a lot of good things to it too, but it's been a very beautiful journey of integration and unencumbering.
And I just have so much more internal space for everything, for my family, for my children, for my creativity, for my acting, for my directing, and I just have a peace that I never had before.
Making this film was one of the most liberating things that I've ever done because people said, "Oh, it's so personal.
I, I can't believe how vulnerable you are." But our vulnerability is our greatest strength and our greatest connector.
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