Breath, Stoicism, and The Power of Not Knowing with Carl Smith

So Carl, could you talk a little bit about what you posted on... 'Cause it was, first of all, you were chastising me for working on a Saturday, but you had just posted on a Saturday.

[laughs] Well, it was posted on a Saturday.

Oh.

Now, you're making a big assumption, sir.

However, I did post it on that Saturday.

It's like, I don't schedule things.

Who are we kidding? I do stuff in the moment.

Well, yeah, and, and so what ha- what was going on was I was sitting there and I was looking at spreadsheets.

On a Saturday morning.

I should never, I should never be looking at spreadsheets.

I don't like spreadsheets.

I'm not an ops person, right? That's not...

But I'm sitting there and I'm trying to figure out these patterns and these different things, when I realized I have created this list of things I'm supposed to do, and what it's done is actually taken me away from what I love, and I have made a move from creating to protecting.

Okay.

And now I am not sitting here trying to help people get better.

I'm trying to make sure that we can pay a bill.

And, and that's important.

You have to be able to, you know, not get everything canceled and lights turned off, and you have to be able to take care of your team.

But at the same time, you have to take care of yourself.

And, and I think for me, what it was in that moment was I just realized I am no longer effective.

I am just moving some things forward.

It, it's still progress over perfection.

I'm not trying to get everything just right, but it's stuff I don't care about as much.

And, uh, I know that I was talking with my team, and one of the challenges I had done was to make myself efficient, I had made them inefficient, right? They had taken things from me that I didn't feel I should be doing, and then when we had a call and I said, "What are you wasting your time on?" It was all shit I had given them, right? And I was like, "Ah, so that's why you can't get to the important stuff." So really, the reshuffling was very much about, all right, what are we just doing because somebody told us this is what a, a, a grown-up company does?And what are we doing because we care? And so I have, uh, over the past three days, in- including the weekend, just started doing the stuff I care about again.

And you know what? My stress level is down according to all the devices.

So Carl, could you talk a little bit about what you posted on... 'Cause it was, first of all, you were chastising me for working on a Saturday, but you had just posted on a Saturday.

[laughs] Well, it was posted on a Saturday.

Oh.

Now, you're making a big assumption, sir.

However, I did post it on that Saturday.

It's like, I don't schedule things.

Who are we kidding? I do stuff in the moment.

Well, yeah, and, and so what ha- what was going on was I was sitting there and I was looking at spreadsheets.

On a Saturday morning.

I should never, I should never be looking at spreadsheets.

I don't like spreadsheets.

I'm not an ops person, right? That's not...

But I'm sitting there and I'm trying to figure out these patterns and these different things, when I realized I have created this list of things I'm supposed to do, and what it's done is actually taken me away from what I love, and I have made a move from creating to protecting.

Okay.

And now I am not sitting here trying to help people get better.

I'm trying to make sure that we can pay a bill.

And, and that's important.

You have to be able to, you know, not get everything canceled and lights turned off, and you have to be able to take care of your team.

But at the same time, you have to take care of yourself.

And, and I think for me, what it was in that moment was I just realized I am no longer effective.

I am just moving some things forward.

It, it's still progress over perfection.

I'm not trying to get everything just right, but it's stuff I don't care about as much.

And, uh, I know that I was talking with my team, and one of the challenges I had done was to make myself efficient, I had made them inefficient, right? They had taken things from me that I didn't feel I should be doing, and then when we had a call and I said, "What are you wasting your time on?" It was all shit I had given them, right? And I was like, "Ah, so that's why you can't get to the important stuff." So really, the reshuffling was very much about, all right, what are we just doing because somebody told us this is what a, a, a grown-up company does?And what are we doing because we care? And so I have, uh, over the past three days, in- including the weekend, just started doing the stuff I care about again.

And you know what? My stress level is down according to all the devices.