Tony Jaa in "The Protector"

I got to read this synopsis for this.

Yes, please do.

This is phenomenal.

A young fighter named Com must go to Australia to retrieve his stolen elephant.

With the help of a Thai-born Australian detective, Com must take on all comers, including a gang led by an evil woman and her two deadly bodyguards.

That's, I mean, yes.

Yeah, yeah.

In words, yes.

In practice, this movie is like somebody took a bunch of fight scenes and some random villains from other movies and just duct taped them together.

Just ruthlessly pulled them in.

Like two North Pole magnets just jamming them together and wrapping them in duct tape.

And we've

mentioned that before with some of these movies being just like loose plots connecting set pieces.

But this is the distillation of that idea on the film.

It is 83 minutes long and it is like five minutes of plot.

Oh, yeah.

There's very little going on here.

But we'll talk about that in a minute.

But what did the critics think of this movie? Yeah.

Rotten Tomatoes has a set of 53% critics, 76% audience.

So critics are divided evenly on this film.

The audience mostly liked it.

And I think I kind of understand why audiences are there watching killer fight scenes and critics are there watching a movie.

And some of those critics thought that that movie didn't have a lot of substance, but the audience was like, I just watched a man take out a bunch of other guys with a bunch of elephant bones attached to his forearms.

Yeah.