He loves these kids the second he

sees them.

I took my son to a kid hang, and there was this large kid who I first thought was, like...

I thought he was like four or something.

He was speaking like a two-year-old, you know? But he was really, really giant.

And he was interacting with my son, and his dad was right there.

And he was like, oh, how old is your son? I said, oh, you know, he's a year and a half.

But I'm glad your kids are doing well.

And she trots off.

Um, trying to distract Thurston, uh, Sherman, uh, guides him to the window.

Y- y- you know, uh, uh, Thurston, I, I couldn't help but think about you recently.

Uh, when I was, uh, at the opera and I was watching, uh, that horrible man Giovanni, uh, cursing at his father, cursing at his dead father, uh, uh, uh, m- m- made me think that don't, aren't all of us that Giovanni, cursing at our dead fathers, cursing at our-

[laughs] I feel you, buddy.

[laughs] Sometimes it's nice to have someone else hear what I'm going through.

It's hard looking for love again when realizing that, uh, you keep on leaving love behind you.

Every time I get into a new relationship I think it's the one, and then I find some reason to ruin it.

What are we gonna do?

Um, uh, so I take up, my hands are still on ice, and so I lift them up, and they drip, um, as I, as I wa- as I...

And they drip to the beautiful carpet as I rush o- as I rush over to the phone.

I pick up the phone with my elbows, and then tries, and then use my nose to flip through my address book.

[panting]

I'd love, love to see you d- d- sweet talk your way out of that one.

Well, yes, I mean, come on.

I believe in a vibrant economy, and I believe something that sells well, will sell fast, will help all of Seattle, not to mention our family, [laughs] and your shit smells f- sexy.

How did you, how'd you get into Frazier?

So I came into Frazier as an adult, which is a crazy thing to say.

I, uh, never watched it as a kid, or if I did watch it as a kid, I like do not remember it very well at all.

Um, I like my, uh, Where I grew up, the Fox 5 lineup was like 6 o'clock Simpsons, 6.30 King of the Hill, 7 Friends, 7.30 Seinfeld.

And so I wanted to watch Simpsons, and my mom watched Seinfeld every night.

That was like the sort of...

An early memory is that I can make mom laugh by quoting Kramer specifically, but really anything from Seinfeld.

Thoughtless brute? Somebody could have said that on Frasier.

Wiley, if you're trying to tell me you think this town is the, is the ruler by which we measure intelligence, I'd, I've got a bridge to sell you

you[laughs] We are Stupid Town.

It's why I'm here.

They always buy my little tricks of the trade, like cig- like cigarettes made of CBD.

I tell them it gets them high, but it barely calms them down.

[laughs] [gentle music]

Wow.

Dying to hear the rest of this adventure? Head to patreon.com/rudetalesofmagic to hear this and all our other amazing boneless episodes.

Argue for zippers with your zingiest, zesty-est zeal.

[upbeat music] We all have choices in life.

For breakfast, do I want cereal or toaster waffles? Hmm.

I think waffles.

[toaster clicks] Should I bike to work today or take the subway? [subway roars] Subway it is.

And for my outfit, do I want this pleasing sound as I take off my jacket? [jacket unzipping] Or this one? [Velcro ripping] Oh, for the love of all that's good and true, my ears.

Shake it off, Tim.

All my clothes fell out.

Oh, am I not allowed to find a little mirth and joy in my work as the porridge czar?

Paul looks at these two individuals who he's like, he's, like, seen around, but has ne- never been particularly close to or particularly friendly with.

N- n- like, no bad vibes, but he turns.

Perhaps we all...

There is something that unites all of us.

Perhaps there is a reason for all of us to be together for winter festival.

Paul, why do you not, why do you always act like you don't know us?

It was really fun.

First question, how do you keep a show going for that long?

Um, good question.

I think, I think a huge part about it.

The honest answer is, I don't know.

I don't know.

There's a lot of a lot of factors that are intentional, but also a lot of factors that aren't intentional, just have to do with the collaboration, the people that you are working with.

I think one of the reasons that we've been able to go along for a long time with I'll say three things.

What is the kind of comedic voice here? And two sort of questions within that of how is that different from Rude Tales so far as a comedic voice? And then how are you changing the game of it to kind of support that?

Ha ha, not what I said.

Um, Nero is done shaking a bottle of champagne off on Trajan and throwing throwing stars around like confetti-

He'll never learn.

Titus, listen.

I'm with you.

You don't only have to fuck people who have your same r- political affiliations or even your same sense of justice.

You can fuck whoever you want.

[laughs]

Swear off all my other lovers just to be with her forever and ever, but she can never know.

Okay, well, where would you, where could you get us in-

[harp strums]

Head to patreon.com/rudetalesofmagic to hear this and all our other amazing bonus episodes.

And don't worry, there's a link in the show notes.

Heh.

And when you get over to Patreon, tell him Joe sent you.

And there's Crush and the other sea turtles from Finding Nemo, who are famous for being some of the most chill beings in the entire world.

world.Uh, this is not my fact, but I have to just say that, like, you heard my declaration of greatness.

I can't believe you were putting those three characters against all of the rabbits that we have seen in popular culture.

But it's time for fact number three.

Can you imagine if magicians pulled turtles out of a hat instead of bunnies? For one, it would be heavy and leathery, completely messing up the magician's flow.

For second, it would ruin the trick because the audience would be expecting a rabbit.

Give the audience what they want.

[laughs]

Oh,

no.

Like a dark caterpillar, or a...

No.

Those become moths.

Or, no, a centipede.

No, it's growing.

The sun is dead.

might even make you cry.

Dumb Dumbs and Dragons has been downloaded more than 19 million times and has charted at the number two fiction podcast in the US.

It's so good, it's been featured on the official Dungeons and Dragons podcast, Dragon Talk.

It features a most lovable crew.

Quinny, a thief who broke out of prison by serving his full sentence.

Alan, a wizard who constantly forgets magic has consequences and their mutual friend Butthole, a fart cleric of the goddess Moonhammer who the other two think he made up.

Giles Waitiman listens and Giles Waitiman thinks it's fantastic and very funny.

And you keep abandoning these people.

might even make you cry.

Dumb Dumbs and Dragons has been downloaded more than 19 million times and has charted at the number two fiction podcast in the US.

It's so good, it's been featured on the official Dungeons and Dragons podcast, Dragon Talk.

It features a most lovable crew.

Quinny, a thief who broke out of prison by serving his full sentence.

Alan, a wizard who constantly forgets magic has consequences and their mutual friend Butthole, a fart cleric of the goddess Moonhammer who the other two think he made up.

Giles Waitiman listens and Giles Waitiman thinks it's fantastic and very funny.

So go right ahead.