Jul 17, 2026 · 27 min · 10 segments
\*This episode was originally released in June 2023. Wondering if my current audience still resonates with the dating episodes:) Breaking up is hard to do. It can be absolutely brutal when a…
So I first thought about this, even though I've experienced it a lot, this sort of trying to decipher and determine what am I actually feeling.
Was this really love, or was it just ego bruising? Which is a term that I used.
Anyways, I thought of it particularly one time when I was in session with a client, a lovely young woman, and she was sharing about how she was dating this guy, and he suddenly was kind of slow ghosting her and disappearing, even though they'd had a really nice time and things were going great.
And she was pretty upset and torn up about it, and she was kind of sharing, like, how she was feeling, and she was feeling really sad and down about it.
Yet everything she was describing about the situation didn't really sound like it was very kind or loving or intimate, just by the way she described it.
And so m- the thought that came to my mind was, "I don't think that your heart is hurting," you know? "I don't think that you're experiencing a ex- bre- a broken heart, a, you know, the end of a love affair.
Like you just got cut, kicked, right in the gut of your ego and you're like, 'Ow.'" You know? 'Cause it, the two can feel the same, right? The same way that we can sort of confuse the sensation of, you know, using drugs or alcohol or another addiction, and it feels good.
It feels almost like a sensati- like a loving, warm sensation, but really what it is, is it's just a temporary soothing, right? To the pain that we're feeling.
You can be in a relationship with somebody and still never fully experience love.
I read in a book, one of my favorite books, I mention it a lot on the podcast, called Conversations With God.
I discovered it when I was in recovery, early recovery from drugs and alcohol.
So I first thought about this, even though I've experienced it a lot, this sort of trying to decipher and determine what am I actually feeling.
Was this really love, or was it just ego bruising? Which is a term that I used.
Anyways, I thought of it particularly one time when I was in session with a client, a lovely young woman, and she was sharing about how she was dating this guy, and he suddenly was kind of slow ghosting her and disappearing, even though they'd had a really nice time and things were going great.
And she was pretty upset and torn up about it, and she was kind of sharing, like, how she was feeling, and she was feeling really sad and down about it.
Yet everything she was describing about the situation didn't really sound like it was very kind or loving or intimate, just by the way she described it.
And so m- the thought that came to my mind was, "I don't think that your heart is hurting," you know? "I don't think that you're experiencing a ex- bre- a broken heart, a, you know, the end of a love affair.
Like you just got cut, kicked, right in the gut of your ego and you're like, 'Ow.'" You know? 'Cause it, the two can feel the same, right? The same way that we can sort of confuse the sensation of, you know, using drugs or alcohol or another addiction, and it feels good.
It feels almost like a sensati- like a loving, warm sensation, but really what it is, is it's just a temporary soothing, right? To the pain that we're feeling.
You can be in a relationship with somebody and still never fully experience love.
I read in a book, one of my favorite books, I mention it a lot on the podcast, called Conversations With God.
I discovered it when I was in recovery, early recovery from drugs and alcohol.
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