Ep105 How to Survive (and Actually Thrive) in the Early Years of Parenthood

**"Day after day after day, you and I would just wake up and feel like we were underwater. Could not get our head above water, could barely breathe." ~ Pat Millea** - What does it actually take to survive the "fog of war" years of early parenthood without losing yourself or your marriage? - Why might letting go of your own standards, like a spotless house or a specific parenting method, be the healthiest thing you can do for your family? - What's the one practice Pat and Kenna almost let slip that ended up holding their marriage together? In episode 105 of This Whole Life, Pat and Kenna Millea open up their playbook for surviving, and even thriving, in the trenches of early parenthood. Drawing on their own experience raising seven kids, they talk honestly about the season a friend once called "the fog of war," the disorienting, sleep deprived stretch where you can't seem to get your head above water. From there, they walk through seven hard won practicals: holding firm to your values when everything feels chaotic, finding your own family's "clean spectrum," knowing when to take advice and when to let it roll off your back, outsourcing what you can without guilt, and protecting the handful of moments each day that actually shape your family's culture. They close with the two habits that quietly hold their marriage together in the middle of it all: going on dates, and praying together daily, even when it's just a Hail Mary before falling asleep. This episode is for anyone in the thick of parenting little kids who has wondered if they're doing it right, or anyone who remembers that season and wants to look back on it with a little more grace. **Chapters:** - (00:00) - Cold Open - (00:38) - Welcome, Lightning Round, and Highs and Hards - (17:39) - The Fog of War: Why Early Parenthood Feels Like Survival - (21:05) - Practical 1: Clarify and Hold Your Values - (25:30) - Practicals 2 and 3: Finding Your Clean Spectrum and Filtering Advice - (38:39) - Practicals 4 and 5: Outsourcing and Protecting High-Impact Moments - (47:10) - Practicals 6 and 7: Dates, Prayer, and Staying Connected - (53:12) - Challenge by Choice and Closing Prayer Support the show Thank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters! Join our email list and never miss an episode or an event Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us [an email](mailto:thiswholelife@martincenterforintegration.com) with your thoughts, questions, or ideas. Follow us on Instagram & Facebook Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration *Music: "You're Not Alone" by* Marie Miller*. Used with permission.*