Jul 23, 2026 · 29 min · 20 segments
Sam is ready to propose to his girlfriend Marta, but when he asked her father for his blessing, he got a firm no. Confused by the rejection, Sam feels he's built a stable future with a successful…
Ellen KHost
Sarah DashGuest
Ryan MannoHost
today, Sarah, I always wonder, how many people come to therapy with the right intentions?
Sometimes I feel like you go to a therapist or therapy to help almost have them make the excuse for you.
You know, that's really interesting because I think there is a group of people who are looking strictly for validation rather than insight.
And do you realize that right away and call them out on it even before you start the session?
I usually give them a little bit of time to get comfortable where they can reflect.
Because sometimes, especially if somebody's talking about something that's very sensitive, they are almost preemptively defensive.
And it's not inappropriate for a therapist to validate someone's feelings and experience, but that's very different from excusing problematic behavior.
Because, you know, we field the phone calls, we field the, you know, we get letters, we get texts just of different, you know, problems that arise.
today, Sarah, I always wonder, how many people come to therapy with the right intentions?
Sometimes I feel like you go to a therapist or therapy to help almost have them make the excuse for you.
You know, that's really interesting because I think there is a group of people who are looking strictly for validation rather than insight.
And do you realize that right away and call them out on it even before you start the session?
I usually give them a little bit of time to get comfortable where they can reflect.
Because sometimes, especially if somebody's talking about something that's very sensitive, they are almost preemptively defensive.
And it's not inappropriate for a therapist to validate someone's feelings and experience, but that's very different from excusing problematic behavior.
Because, you know, we field the phone calls, we field the, you know, we get letters, we get texts just of different, you know, problems that arise.
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