Jul 15, 2026 · 32 min · 12 segments
In this episode, I discuss leadership. Specifically, emotional regulation, qualities that define great leaders, how anxiety can shape leadership, and why influencing the emotional climate of the…
You know, one of the, the, the, the most important components of leadership, when I think of leadership, uh, from a psychological lens, from a human behavioral neuroscience perspective, is, um, the ability to be a non-anxious presence.
Now, what do I mean by that? Uh, you know, anxiety we typically think of I have some anxiety, some perceived threat about the future, and that certainly is anxiety.
But anxiety is much bigger.
Anytime we have this unsettledness, this, this tension, this, this, this fear or, or this unrest inside of our, our mind, our heart, our soul when we're in our business or when with friendships or when parenting, right? That is...
I'm calling that anxiety, right? I'm enlarging the parameters here and using this more in a general sense when I call it anxiety.
Now, I didn't come up with this on my own, right? This non-anxious presence.
This is really comes from some brilliant work by Murray Bowen and family systems theory out of the nineteen fifties, sixties, seventies, and so on.
Uh, and Edwin Friedman's work in his book, "Generation to Generation" and "Failure of Nerve," both are, are fabulous reads in terms of leadership and differentiation and maturity and those sort of topics.
So, um, and that-- this is something that I've got tremendous training in in my graduate work.
I began to put into practice in my first few years as a therapist.
Uh, and I continue to use this in a number of different ways, whether it be with couples, whether it be with leadership, whether it be with, you know, folks that come in who are entrepreneurs and leaders and trying to create a certain culture or these topics of burnout or conflict resolution.
Um, so this topic of, of non-anxious presence really begins to apply to a number of areas in our lives.
And so I think it's, you know, some of the, the healthiest people that I have worked with, um, related to leadership, when I think about what do they possess, what quality do they possess that's the, that's the strongest quality I would say that they possess as a leader, and I would say that they, they, they're a non-anxious presence.
You know, Edwin Friedman said there's, there's three qualities that make up a great leader.
One, they have a vision, right? They know-- They have a clear idea of who they are, what they want, where they're going, right? They have a vision.
Number two, they know to h- know how to articulate that vision clearly.
They know how to communicate that to their people in a way that their f- their people get it.
They understand it.
They capture it, right? And it's easy and understandable.
Right? So they have a vision.
They know how to articulate that vision to the people around them.
And the third and most important piece is he said that, that they're a non-anxious presence.
They stay calm in conflict, right? They may experience anxiety.
Certainly, they do, right? They may still experience uncertainty.
They may experience fear.
You know, one of the, the, the, the most important components of leadership, when I think of leadership, uh, from a psychological lens, from a human behavioral neuroscience perspective, is, um, the ability to be a non-anxious presence.
Now, what do I mean by that? Uh, you know, anxiety we typically think of I have some anxiety, some perceived threat about the future, and that certainly is anxiety.
But anxiety is much bigger.
Anytime we have this unsettledness, this, this tension, this, this, this fear or, or this unrest inside of our, our mind, our heart, our soul when we're in our business or when with friendships or when parenting, right? That is...
I'm calling that anxiety, right? I'm enlarging the parameters here and using this more in a general sense when I call it anxiety.
Now, I didn't come up with this on my own, right? This non-anxious presence.
This is really comes from some brilliant work by Murray Bowen and family systems theory out of the nineteen fifties, sixties, seventies, and so on.
Uh, and Edwin Friedman's work in his book, "Generation to Generation" and "Failure of Nerve," both are, are fabulous reads in terms of leadership and differentiation and maturity and those sort of topics.
So, um, and that-- this is something that I've got tremendous training in in my graduate work.
I began to put into practice in my first few years as a therapist.
Uh, and I continue to use this in a number of different ways, whether it be with couples, whether it be with leadership, whether it be with, you know, folks that come in who are entrepreneurs and leaders and trying to create a certain culture or these topics of burnout or conflict resolution.
Um, so this topic of, of non-anxious presence really begins to apply to a number of areas in our lives.
And so I think it's, you know, some of the, the healthiest people that I have worked with, um, related to leadership, when I think about what do they possess, what quality do they possess that's the, that's the strongest quality I would say that they possess as a leader, and I would say that they, they, they're a non-anxious presence.
You know, Edwin Friedman said there's, there's three qualities that make up a great leader.
One, they have a vision, right? They know-- They have a clear idea of who they are, what they want, where they're going, right? They have a vision.
Number two, they know to h- know how to articulate that vision clearly.
They know how to communicate that to their people in a way that their f- their people get it.
They understand it.
They capture it, right? And it's easy and understandable.
Right? So they have a vision.
They know how to articulate that vision to the people around them.
And the third and most important piece is he said that, that they're a non-anxious presence.
They stay calm in conflict, right? They may experience anxiety.
Certainly, they do, right? They may still experience uncertainty.
They may experience fear.
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