Episode 46: Laura Lexx

Hi! I was wearing shoes and a jumper but fuck me, no.

Sorry, I feel like, you know when you get a goldfish and you have to put it in a little bag in the tank for a while to acclimatise? That's how I feel, like, where's my fucking bag? This isn't normal.

So, hello, thank you for having me.

I feel so fucking boring at this gig.

I'm so boring.

I'm not Canadian or trans or goth or a lesbian.

I'm just, I'm so boring.

And I often think this, because I'm just married to a straight man, too.

Which, in 2024, it's just like, fucking what? What? Why have you done that? Like, mine's even white.

Could you be any duller? It's like playing Mario Kart as Mario.

Why are you doing that to yourself? I'm so boring.

But I love him, so we're together.

And I live with him in Brighton, which confuses people as well, because there's hair and the postcode, and people are like, but you must! And I'm like, sorry.

If it wasn't for the undercut, I'd literally have no distinguishing personality.

So we're going with it.

I live with him down there, and I also live with the true love of my life, my soulmate, my dog.

Um...

i love my dog more than i think is okay i love her like the love i have for my dog i've never felt like this about anything else on planet earth i love her with a oh we also have a daughter um I fucking love that dog so much.

No, listen, I love my daughter as well.

I do love her.

I just don't know how to talk about it because it's so complicated.

I love my daughter.

I just don't think I want to be her mother.

I don't know if you have kids, you're all just too cool, you've all got sea monkeys instead.

We're in southeast London, Laura, we're not doing that.