Relationship Basics – Milica Jelenic

We look at it all because the pleasure zone is learning about how to have more pleasure in our lives, and whether we're going to the very basics of having a relationship or we're going to kink extremes, all of those have a relationship of sorts.

You know, whether you just have kink partners for play or healing, that's still a kind of relationship, and in all relationships, we have-- there are some foundational pillars that we need to address.

So we will be looking at those foundational pillars today.

I have in the past talked about, uh, the five elements of intimacy when I used to be part of this organization that talked about that, and that's all fine and good too.

That stuff can still apply.

Um, I, I'm just no longer a teacher of that work, so, but I still think there, there are some good tools there.

And the foundational pillars, these are just things that are generally come across through a lot of different, say like consist-- these are consistencies across the board with different relationship coaches and people who work as relationship counselors and therapists and things like that.

So we're gonna look at all these things because this is what I do.

And one of the reasons I do this work is because when I started my holistic health practice years ago, 28, 29 years ago, 29, I think it's 29 years ago.

Uh, yes, it'll be 29, yes, in July.

Uh, wow, in a few weeks it'll be 29 years.

Anyhow, I, I was pretty, you know, low and slow and pretty quiet about what I did.

I just did it part-time aside from the two other jobs I had.

Uh, was it-- I had a full-time job as a nanny at the time, and I also had a part-time job working for the Brita Water Company.

[laughs] And, um, and then I also had clients sometimes.

Not often, but I started, I started to see clients for, at energy work that I'd trained in.

And then, and then I just kept learning and growing and studying and getting more and more different, um, things under my belt so that I could bring it to the table and, and I found consistently across, across all these years is that people when they have health issues, there's generally some kind of relationship issues that have not been resolved, whether it's with a parent, whether it's with a partner, whether it's with a friend.

There's somewhere where there's been something that was either traumatic, stressful And it's usually unresolved, and that lingers, and lingers, and lingers.

So when stress lingers, let's get real fundamental here.

When stress lingers, your body goes into fight or flight for an extended period of time, so your body then is in sympathetic dominance, and that creates a lot of things like increased heart rate.

Creates a lot of different health issues.

Um, if you, you know, can s- if you stay in that for y- a very extended period of time, you might even get into being frozen, where now you're in parasympathetic dominance and, you know, things slow down, your metabolism slows down, your heart rate becomes, um, irregular, all kinds of things.

Lack of sleep but fully exhausted, that kind of stuff.

Yeah, those are pretty good signs that your body is not having, um, regulation going on, not having nervous system regulation.

So I found that relationships were quite key to that, so we needed to, I needed to, for me, find out how I could assist people with their relationships and their sex and intimacy, as well as...