Loving Your Spouse Through PTSD with Nate & Noemi Parsons

Before we wrap up, we're going to talk about the book, the website, all that.

But before we get there, we always end with answering one of your questions.

And thank you guys for those who write in questions to us at nakedmarriagepodcast.com. Today's question says, I went to my husband about my day and immediately tries to fix it, which honestly makes me more frustrated, not less.

How do you tell the difference between a partner who needs to vent and one who needs a solution? So...

This is kind of like a classic, almost stereotypical men versus women difference that typically, in general, not always, but women more want to process, talk through things, not necessarily just want you to try to fix it.

Right, just

sharing.

Yeah, just sharing.

They feel closeness just from

sharing.

And guys are like, I want to give solutions and then watch SportsCenter.

And so how do you do that, though? How do you know...

I think it could be as practical of just asking them as they're sharing, like, what can I do to best help you with this? Like, and let them tell you.

It's like you just talking to you helps.

Or if they want ideas, solutions.

Well, we've had to do this because I'm a verbal processor.

And gosh, I mean, we've been married 25 years, so Dave knows when I'm just going into just needing to verbally process.

But it wasn't always that way.

And I remember we got to the point, because I would feel this frustration of this woman writing in, because I would be like, I'm just sharing.

Because if you provided a solution after I had vented, I would feel almost kind of stupid.

And I know that's not what you were trying to make me feel, like, well, why don't you do this? And you didn't say it like that, but I heard it like that.

And you'd be like, well, you're telling me this, and I thought... you wanted me to help.

And I'm like, no, no, I just want you to listen.

And so we just got to the point where you'd be like, are you just wanting me to listen? Like that's what you, and not like in a snarky way or you'd say, or do you want like some ideas or solutions, you know? And then I would just tell him, cause sometimes I would want solutions, but I think just taking the guesswork out of it would really be helpful, but I'd love to hear what you guys have to say.

So we owned a business recently, and I worked in the business.