Let Them: How to Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power

When you're in a relationship that doesn't work, there are two people in the relationship contributing to the dynamic, and trust me, I didn't wanna hear that either, because I personally love to blame other people when I'm not getting along with other people.

But maybe, just maybe, your people-pleasing is part of the problem.

Maybe walking on eggshells is contributing to the dynamic.

Maybe giving them too much of your time is part of the problem.

Maybe explaining away the disrespect is keeping you in a relationship you need to leave.

Maybe never, ever having the hard conversation is what's making the relationship hard.

Or maybe how often you're showing up and you're trying to make things better, hoping things will change, that's actually part of the problem.

Doesn't it make sense that you should change your strategy? Shouldn't you focus 100% of your energy on the part of this relationship dynamic that you can change? Which is you.

See, when you change your attitude or your approach or the amount of time you put into the relationship, or you change the way you're having conversations, you have the power, because you create the conditions for everything to change.

And we're gonna talk today about three mistakes that I've made in all of my relationships and what to do instead, because these are three mistakes that you're probably making right now in the situation that you're in.

And because every single situation and relationship in your life is personal and different- And I don't have the specific details, and I'm also not a therapist.

I'm not gonna give you specific advice.

I'm gonna teach you a framework that has helped me profoundly in my relationships, and it's a framework that helps me figure out what the right response is given the specific situation, and that's what you're gonna leave with today.

Okay, so let's talk about the first of the three mistakes that you're making in relationships with other people.

Mistake number one: you expect someone else to change.

You do, and it's a giant mistake to do so, and I'm gonna teach you a different way to approach situations where you're expecting someone else to change, and we're gonna do it by answering a question from your fellow listener named Teresa.

Teresa has an incredibly demanding job.

She's a school administrator, and then she comes home like so many people do, and she has another full-time job, trying to manage the health of her 68-year-old mother.

But here's the thing: her mother doesn't listen to her.

Her mother doesn't do any of the things that Teresa wants her to do.

In fact, her mother doesn't even do what her doctors are telling her to do to take better care of herself.

And as you listen, here's what I want you to think about: Who in your life does this feel like? Who in your life are you concerned about? Who in your life do you wish would take better care of themselves? Who in your life is just being so stubborn, and it's stressing you out, and frankly, it might be scaring you?