Jamilah Lemieux on Black Single Motherhood

[gentle music] So can you tell me what your earliest memory is of forming an opinion about the term Black single mother?

Ooh, that's a wonderful question.

Um, [sighs] I don't have a specific memory, but I do remember being aware, even as a, you know, a, a young child, seven, eight, nine, that there was a lot of negativity around the idea of Black single mothers, right? That they were thought of as somehow being inferior to other mothers.

But I also knew that my mother was a Black single mother, and I knew that she was a wonderful mother, you know.

I, I believed that my mother was superior to most mothers, right? I've got the best mom.

And so she didn't line up with what they were saying about Black single moms.

But as a kid, I didn't have the sophistication to fully understand and like, okay, if she doesn't line up, then why would these other mother...

You know what I mean? Like, what if what they're saying is just, you know, wholly wrong and cruel? Um, but I, but I, I did know that there was this idea, even if I didn't fully buy into it, that they were irresponsible, that they were, you know, um, partially to blame for the challenges that the Black community has.

Uh, a lot of people feel that way, pastors, preachers, politicians, you know, rappers.

There's so much negative talk about Black single... really single mothers of all races, but Black single mothers in particular.

And how did your mom not fit into that stereotype?

I, I, I didn't see us struggling.

Now that I'm older and I have a different lens, and I understand certain things, I recognize like, hey, I mean, I know we lived in a one-bedroom apartment, you know, my entire life.

And so that was evidence that we weren't doing as well as I thought we should be doing.

But other than that, you know, there was never a crisis over the lights being off or there not being enough food.

I never missed a field trip.

You know, I never couldn't go to the movies with my friends because she didn't have it.

So even now that I realize there were times of struggle for her, she kept me completely, you know, hidden from that.

Um, we didn't receive government benefits, uh, for much of my life.

I do believe there may have been a time where she, she might have received something, you know, unemployment, but I, I...

Generally, when we had food stamps, it was because somebody had given it.

Like, my dad would bring her st- stacks of food stamps.

I don't know where he got them from.

I don't need to know where he got them from.

But he would bring my mom wads of food stamps from time to time.