What if we noticed before we broke?

So, Nikki, you talk about helping leaders achieve success without sacrificing their well-being.

What have you found people are actually sacrificing without realising? And where does self-kindness come into that?

Oh, it's such a great question.

I think in our modern world, so much of success has a dark side to it in that um we can become particularly with social media and particularly the pace of life we can attribute to success to so many external things whether it be looking at influencers online and going i want their lifestyle whether it be you know we've got to get a certain job title or you know uh uh kind of money that we need to earn to sustain a particular way of life it might be we want the car whatever it might be there's a lot of external things and I was in that place like the reason I've come to do this work is I climbed that ladder of kind of the definition of success and it literally bore a kind of a hole in my soul and it wasn't a particularly nice time of my life and I became somebody I didn't like and So I get it.

It's so easy to get hooked into that.

But what it means is that we can become so misaligned with our internal state, so our internal alignment.

So it can be things like we start to sacrifice our joy And it's a really slippery slope because actually to, you know, we're taught you've got to work hard.

And you do, you know, to get on in life, we've got to work hard.

We've got to be focused.

And those attributes do kind of get us so far in life.

They then can become almost this overdone strength that we start to kind of chip away our joy our presence our own boundaries our own well-being so all of those sources of like innate vitality and I you know and I'm sure we can all spot it you can see somebody that looks externally really successful but you look at them and you go gosh there's nothing behind the eyes or they just look so tired or just Like the essence has gone, that spark.

And then you can look at other people and they've got that spark and vibrancy and you're like, oh no, that is success.

So I think it's those almost internal alignment states around joy presence.

Kind of just feeling in integrity with your values and with what lights you up.

And I think a big part of it is rest.

So the big self-kindness piece around, you know, can you give yourself permission to rest? Like, I love what you put out on social media, King, because you're like, do you know what? I've just been in front of the TV for half an hour with a cup of tea.

You know, how many people really struggle to do that? Me included.

Like, I had to learn how to rest because I couldn't do it.

Yeah,

no, thank you.

And yeah, I mean, I know these are being recorded, but I'm like, oh, yes, yes, yes.

Making my notes.

And I think a couple of things.

I think, yeah, the rest thing is, yeah, that's something personally I'm still working on.

And, you know, there's seven different types, lots of different types of rest.