Eps 066: The Wedding Recap! On Ritual, Identity, Community, and Commitment w. Jess Ellen

And I'm curious, like, at what point did you kind of start to realize that, okay, this, this is maybe like a bigger thing than I initially thought it was going to be as I had decided to do this? Like, at what point were you realizing that?

Uh, when we started telling people it was instant because for us, we, so we got engaged years ago, 20, it was right after we bought the house.

So it was 2022 or 2023. early 2023.

And so it was always just something that like we had in the back of our head that like eventually we were going to do.

And then as soon as we started telling people in my mind, I always, I just assumed that people were going to be like, Oh, finally, you know, like it's, it's happening.

Great.

And so many people were responding with this excitement, like, Oh my God, this is so exciting.

And, you know, and we were just getting these responses and, um, the questions that people were asking me too about the wedding process and what we were going to be doing, it clearly became this, this thing that it, that I realized was much bigger in other people's minds.

You know, I think the whole wedding, um, ritual is different for everybody.

And I feel like some, for some people, it's a huge production, not just the wedding day itself, but also everything leading up to it with all the different like the bachelorette party and like the bridal shower and all this stuff.

And so all of that, that was like my first, um, experience too, with the projection part of people having certain expectations of what our wedding was going to look like.

And then me having to contend with what I was feeling and what I was expecting of the experience versus what other people were imagining for us.

And, um, So it was definitely instantaneous, but then it was also an instant meeting of that experience of how do I bring people back to what we are planning for ourselves and what we expect for ourselves and what we want to create versus what other people might have in their minds.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And when you told people, did you like just tell them you're thinking about it? I remember you sent me even your like cute kind of website about it where you're like, we're going to have a party and this and that.

So like because I thought that was so cool and so unique and so felt very you and felt very like different.

Like, were you sending them that link and people are like, why are you doing it this way?

Yeah, we really just were texting people like, this is when we're getting married.

Come to the party if you can.

RSVP, please.

A lot of it was, we didn't send out any formal invitations.

It was just, I sent out emails to my family members.

I sent out texts to a bunch of friends.

There was never like a printed invitation, which there was a part of me that was like, that could have been a missed opportunity.