The Chronically Online Podcast
Jul 8, 2026 · 47 min · 12 segments
Hi! After I recap the last few days when it was 107 degrees and I almost died on a ferry, I get into the wedding of the year (decade? idk), and my complicated feelings about Taylor Allison Swift…
Samantha BuschHost
We start off in what seems to be Allison Janney's character, this cart- you know, they're all cartoons.
Allison Janney's character gi- is giving tours to people that are going to like old Hollywood studios.
So she's like, "Look, George Lucas is in the glass case." And then they do like a whole joke about George Lucas being in the glass case.
And she's like, "You guys, you don't know the story of Henry and James and how they saved the movie industry and how they like built Hollywood on their back?" And everyone's like, "No." She's like, "Well, gather around children." And that is how the story begins, with Allison Janney telling us the story of the Minions [laughs] Henry and James.
So the story of the Minions is they were a tribe, the Minion tribe, and they were constantly on the search for what they call Big Boss.
So the first like 20 minutes of the movie, you're watching them meet Cyclopes and, you know, evil witches and wizards and all these people, but they accidentally kill all the evil people on accident, and it's hilarious.
You are having the time of your life and then you're like, "But how the fuck does this have anything to do with Hollywood? Like, I don't understand." Well, buckle in.
Then they come acro- [laughs] they somehow stumble across a cowboy stealing money and they are like, "That is our Big Boss.
We start off in what seems to be Allison Janney's character, this cart- you know, they're all cartoons.
Allison Janney's character gi- is giving tours to people that are going to like old Hollywood studios.
So she's like, "Look, George Lucas is in the glass case." And then they do like a whole joke about George Lucas being in the glass case.
And she's like, "You guys, you don't know the story of Henry and James and how they saved the movie industry and how they like built Hollywood on their back?" And everyone's like, "No." She's like, "Well, gather around children." And that is how the story begins, with Allison Janney telling us the story of the Minions [laughs] Henry and James.
So the story of the Minions is they were a tribe, the Minion tribe, and they were constantly on the search for what they call Big Boss.
So the first like 20 minutes of the movie, you're watching them meet Cyclopes and, you know, evil witches and wizards and all these people, but they accidentally kill all the evil people on accident, and it's hilarious.
You are having the time of your life and then you're like, "But how the fuck does this have anything to do with Hollywood? Like, I don't understand." Well, buckle in.
Then they come acro- [laughs] they somehow stumble across a cowboy stealing money and they are like, "That is our Big Boss.
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