Ep 187: People Pleasing and the Lie That You Have to Earn God's Love | with Andrea Bear

Andrea Bear didn't set out to write about people pleasing — it found her. In this conversation, Andrea unpacks the difference between pleasing God and pleasing people, why "good" behavior can quietly become a false virtue, and how her own years of over-functioning — in her marriage, her parish, and eventually caring for her dying father — forced her to confront what she was really seeking. If you've ever felt exhausted by your own goodness, or suspected your busyness is doing something other than serving God, this one's for you. **What We Cover** - Andrea's path from second-generation people pleaser to writing about false virtue - Why pleasing isn't the problem — it's who you're pleasing, and why - How "good" church and ministry involvement can still be self-serving - The trap of pulling back from others only to land in selfishness or resentment - Caring for a difficult parent, and what it taught Andrea about love as action, not feeling - The Seven Sorrows of Mary and how they reshaped Andrea's view of suffering - A practical filter for discernment: does this decision come from fear, anxiety, or pride — or from peace? **A Line Worth Sitting With** *"He can distract you by doing all these wonderful, good things... and keeping your attention away from what you're called to do."* **About Andrea Bear** Andrea Bear is a Catholic author who believes imperfect stories help us connect to the human spirit. Her novel *Grieving Daughters' Club* (Elk Lake Press) is loosely based on women in her Bible study and explores grief alongside people pleasing. She's currently writing a nonfiction book on people pleasing and false virtue, and hosts the *Be Fruitful* podcast. Outside of writing, she spends her time with family, teaching history, and coaching volleyball. **Connect with Andrea:** - Website: andreabearauthor.com - Book: *Grieving Daughters' Club* - Podcast: *Be Fruitful* - Instagram/Facebook: @AndreaBearAuthor **Scripture Referenced:** Ephesians 5:8-10, 1 Corinthians 13:1-2, Psalm 37 Drop us a Question or Comment  I just rebuilt my Sacred Sobriety Kickstart — new content, new structure, all built on the four pillars I actually coach from. Five free days to get real clarity on your "why," your triggers, and the tools to stop white-knuckling it. Click the link to sign up! 👉🏻 **Get started with my FREE 5-Day Sacred Sobriety Kick Start** https://www.thecatholicsobrietycoach.com/5-day-sacred-sobriety-kick-start 👉🏻 **Book a Clarity Call** https://thecatholicsobrietycoach.mykajabi.com/clarity-call **Visit my Website:** https://thecatholicsobrietycoach.com