Jul 8, 2026 · 34 min · 11 segments
There’s a lot of talk in certain pockets of the online space about “being in The Room” (whatever that means). In our experience, “The Room” is full of mean girls who only care about you as long as…
Jill ColemanHost
Dani JHost
... are you in the right rooms or are you in the room, or if you're s- the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
And for a long time, you and I kind of subscribed to this mentality where, you know, early two, uh, 2010s, you know-
... to late 20- like even when we started this podcast, we were still like traveling to conferences a lot.
And, and like, look, if you're in that t- time in your business where you're like moving and shaking and traveling and like whatever, you and I both are single, like we're just...
And I also feel like my priorities have changed, and I don't always want to be in the room.
You know? And so I- it was interesting because I just saw recently, in the last couple of weeks, maybe you guys have seen this too, a lot of people in our space, um, and good for them, I love it for them, but they're like meeting in a, like in a, a house, someone's house, and there's like, I don't know, 10, 15, 20 sort of online coaches, mentors, influencers, content creators.
And they're all the kind of like who's who of our space, and they're kind of doing a lot of content together.
So then people are doing these podcast episodes and content on like being in these rooms, and what does it take to get invited to some of these rooms? And, you know, this whole idea of, um, bringing value and which, you know, obviously that's a great thing to do.
But like this idea of like, okay, what kind of value can you bring? And almost treating it very sort of transactional, which-
Every, like my closest friends, I'm not like, "What value are you bringing to my business?" Right? It's like, it's a different sort of layer of business.
And I don't know if I had like an ick or I was more just like, "I don't know that that's me anymore." And I love it for the people who are like wanting to do it, wanting to be in these rooms, and wanting to, you know, be kind of a mover and a shaker and be seen with other influencers and kind of like be in the space.
Um, but I, what I don't love is this sort of, you have to be at a certain level in order to be, or that there's this idea that you have to be in these rooms, or that like you have to, what are you bringing and how are you adding value and, you know, are you jealous that you're not in these rooms? And if you are, then you need to think about the value you're bringing and like, you know, showing up in a certain way.
All of which I'm sure is valid, but... 'Cause I do think that, you know, when you think about, I don't know, you are trying to access someone who can help you in business, you probably don't wanna be the coach in the room.
You probably want someone who also has had success and, you know, has a, a different, maybe different version of success that you can learn something from.
But I've been reading all these and seeing all these sort of commentary about this.
I actually just listened to another podcast about this on my journey, uh, like before this pod- before this show, and she was kind of saying the same thing that I have been thinking, which is I just have different priorities at this point.
... are you in the right rooms or are you in the room, or if you're s- the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
And for a long time, you and I kind of subscribed to this mentality where, you know, early two, uh, 2010s, you know-
... to late 20- like even when we started this podcast, we were still like traveling to conferences a lot.
And, and like, look, if you're in that t- time in your business where you're like moving and shaking and traveling and like whatever, you and I both are single, like we're just...
And I also feel like my priorities have changed, and I don't always want to be in the room.
You know? And so I- it was interesting because I just saw recently, in the last couple of weeks, maybe you guys have seen this too, a lot of people in our space, um, and good for them, I love it for them, but they're like meeting in a, like in a, a house, someone's house, and there's like, I don't know, 10, 15, 20 sort of online coaches, mentors, influencers, content creators.
And they're all the kind of like who's who of our space, and they're kind of doing a lot of content together.
So then people are doing these podcast episodes and content on like being in these rooms, and what does it take to get invited to some of these rooms? And, you know, this whole idea of, um, bringing value and which, you know, obviously that's a great thing to do.
But like this idea of like, okay, what kind of value can you bring? And almost treating it very sort of transactional, which-
Every, like my closest friends, I'm not like, "What value are you bringing to my business?" Right? It's like, it's a different sort of layer of business.
And I don't know if I had like an ick or I was more just like, "I don't know that that's me anymore." And I love it for the people who are like wanting to do it, wanting to be in these rooms, and wanting to, you know, be kind of a mover and a shaker and be seen with other influencers and kind of like be in the space.
Um, but I, what I don't love is this sort of, you have to be at a certain level in order to be, or that there's this idea that you have to be in these rooms, or that like you have to, what are you bringing and how are you adding value and, you know, are you jealous that you're not in these rooms? And if you are, then you need to think about the value you're bringing and like, you know, showing up in a certain way.
All of which I'm sure is valid, but... 'Cause I do think that, you know, when you think about, I don't know, you are trying to access someone who can help you in business, you probably don't wanna be the coach in the room.
You probably want someone who also has had success and, you know, has a, a different, maybe different version of success that you can learn something from.
But I've been reading all these and seeing all these sort of commentary about this.
I actually just listened to another podcast about this on my journey, uh, like before this pod- before this show, and she was kind of saying the same thing that I have been thinking, which is I just have different priorities at this point.
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