Is Trauma Behind Your Dating Patterns? | Ep. 192

Yeah.

Now, what patterns do you see in successful self-aware people who are still being held back?

Um, a lot of it...

So it's not in doing things to be successful.

It's much more in how they see themselves and how they relate to other people.

And it's funny.

It's like no matter how successful you are, relationships are kind of the great equalizer.

You know? It's like you can...

It, it's like completely independent of, of wealth.

And, um, and so successful self-aware people often are giving a little too much or putting up with bad behavior too much, and sometimes are getting into relationships with people who are controlling or who are kind of dominant in a certain way that ends up becoming problematic.

And so most of...

I don't think any of my clients are in the camp of, like, being too aggressive and, you know, like causing fights so much as more on the side of, like, being too gentle or kind of, um, like, not seeing themselves as amazing as they actually are.

And, and so a lot of the work I do finds and resolves the traumas that are the source of those kind of misconceptions.

So you're saying that some successful people are dating the wrong people because they just think that's all they deserve, so they're not making any changes to get out of that rut?

That's definitely one thing.

And then sometimes they are dating good people, but they just are not asserting themselves in the relationship.

Like, they don't...

They're not taking up enough space in the relationship.

And that again is, like, they got a message or, you know, at some point that, like, you should not take up space, or you should not, you know, put your needs front and center.

You should just focus on other people's needs, or you should, you know, like, be low-maintenance or what have you.

And- And so that again is all downstream effects of trauma.

Yeah.

Now, what patterns do you see in successful self-aware people who are still being held back?

Um, a lot of it...

So it's not in doing things to be successful.

It's much more in how they see themselves and how they relate to other people.

And it's funny.

It's like no matter how successful you are, relationships are kind of the great equalizer.

You know? It's like you can...

It, it's like completely independent of, of wealth.

And, um, and so successful self-aware people often are giving a little too much or putting up with bad behavior too much, and sometimes are getting into relationships with people who are controlling or who are kind of dominant in a certain way that ends up becoming problematic.

And so most of...

I don't think any of my clients are in the camp of, like, being too aggressive and, you know, like causing fights so much as more on the side of, like, being too gentle or kind of, um, like, not seeing themselves as amazing as they actually are.

And, and so a lot of the work I do finds and resolves the traumas that are the source of those kind of misconceptions.

So you're saying that some successful people are dating the wrong people because they just think that's all they deserve, so they're not making any changes to get out of that rut?

That's definitely one thing.

And then sometimes they are dating good people, but they just are not asserting themselves in the relationship.

Like, they don't...

They're not taking up enough space in the relationship.

And that again is, like, they got a message or, you know, at some point that, like, you should not take up space, or you should not, you know, put your needs front and center.

You should just focus on other people's needs, or you should, you know, like, be low-maintenance or what have you.

And- And so that again is all downstream effects of trauma.