engineer.

Yeah.

Sort of rational.

Like, you know, my, my favorite thing to do as a kid was take things apart and put them back together.

Uh, and, And so that was my upbringing.

And my life as a kid was the only real concerns I had were getting through school because my parents thought it was very important that I do well.

So that was a source of stress.

Um, so what are the different, I have two questions, but the first one is like, what are the different States that you said are on that like ladder? Um,

You have to learn how to rewire your brain for attachment, healthy attachment.

Someone does find a really great match, a lot of the time that person will trigger them and they will unconsciously try and like get rid of this person so that they can go find the more familiar type.

And you had this great video of, is it a red flag or a trigger, which I loved.

Those things you mentioned are great examples of how invisible and unconscious the influence of trauma can be.

If someone is with a person who's really great and different from who they normally date, they will often find things that are wrong with them.

You know, they'll say, oh, they're too relaxed.

You know, if they're used to like really uptight people who are kind of grading on them in this particular way, they find someone who's much more relaxed, then they'll say, oh, they're not, you know, they're not ambitious enough or they're not like, they're not, they're stuck together enough.

Is this still true for me? So how do you work with people on their limiting beliefs?

Like, what are some of the things you do t- specifically to help your clients?

Yeah.

So, uh, there are three major categories of trauma.

And so there's generational trauma, which happened to your ancestors and was passed on to you.

There's biographical trauma, which happened to you in your lifetime, including prenatal, uh, development.

And then there's associational trauma, which is like Pavlov's dog.

It basically...

Now, knowing what you know, that you've been doing this for so long, what are some things that you can tell the dating audience of what they can do to better prepare themselves for dating or to get rejected or to explore and get out of their comfort zone? Like, are there techniques or things that you tell your clients, um, before they start dating again?