Nedra Glover Tawwab: Stop Doing Work That's Not Yours

Well, that leads me to this idea of hyper-independence.

And you have said, or many women think that hyper-independence is just my personality, but you have said, maybe it's by design.

What do you mean by that?

Yeah.

Many of us become hyper independent because we're almost like groomed and pushed toward it because maybe you do have some qualities of being a leader, being a person who is highly responsible or great problem solving skills.

But once you take that on as your identity, you start to think that I am the only person who can do these things.

I am the best at doing doing these things.

Other people can't support me.

And when they try, it's not as good as me doing it myself.

And so this whole thing, it's you've made it your identity, your personality, where you're saying, and we talked about this earlier, this does not have to be your truth.

It does not have to be your truth.

You don't have to be the best cook in the family.

You don't have to be the best person at your company.

And I think a lot of folks say like, if you're the smartest in the room, that's a problem.

Like you want other people around you who can support you in ways that you can't even support yourself.

And so being open, Two, having some other people is really important.

And I think we miss the mark there because we get so used to and comfortable with doing things ourselves.

Okay, so let's talk about the cost of being hyper-independent.

I had a woman at my Millie Club Mastermind yesterday where she finally asked for help and had this big breakthrough.

But she said, you know, through some childhood trauma that she's had, she is conditioned to not ask for help.

It's been proven to her that it's not what you do in her family.

But she did ask for help.

She had this big breakthrough.

And it had me thinking the cost of doing it all yourself and not asking for help.

A lot of the women will have wins in their businesses.