The Wounds Men Carry : Mark Stubbles on Male Trauma, Childhood Wounds & Emotional Healing

In this deeply personal episode of **Spiritual Infinity’s series on male trauma and men’s emotional wellbeing**, I speak with hypnotherapist and author **Mark Stubbles** about what can happen when a boy’s emotional pain is carried silently into manhood. This series opens an important conversation about men who have been conditioned from childhood to “toughen up,” suppress their tears and contain their feelings—often without being given the emotional tools to understand what is happening inside them. Mark’s own story gives a striking insight into the long-term psychological impact of childhood dysfunction. He describes growing up in a troubled family environment and developing severe anxiety, insecurity, dissociation and a debilitating fear of blushing. The message he received was essentially to “get on with it.” His unresolved emotional pain subsequently affected his confidence, employment and intimate relationships, illustrating how **male trauma can remain hidden while continuing to influence a man’s adult life**. Mark also speaks candidly about the damaging patterns he himself developed, acknowledging that growing up around mental and emotional abuse taught him unhealthy ways of communicating. During a prolonged and distressing custody battle, counselling began to help him externalise some of the toxic shame and dysfunction he had internalised. Later, hypnotherapy helped him address his anxiety and rebuild his confidence, while spirituality and inner-child healing enabled him to look more deeply at the origins of his emotional wounds. Today, Mark describes himself as confident and emotionally well regulated, and he uses his experience and training to help others. His work particularly emphasises **inner-child healing, trauma, anxiety and taking ownership of the wounds of the past without becoming trapped in blame**. As he explains, understanding childhood trauma is not about condemning our parents; it is about recognising what happened, addressing its consequences and breaking patterns that might otherwise continue into another generation. For our wider conversation about **men’s trauma and men’s mental health**, Mark’s journey raises an urgent question: what happens when boys learn to suppress rather than process emotional pain? If we want men to seek help before reaching crisis, we must create spaces where they can speak about anxiety, shame, childhood wounds, relationship trauma and vulnerability without feeling that doing so makes them less masculine. **Closing Reflection** As I continue this *Spiritual Infinity* series on male trauma, one message is becoming increasingly clear: **we cannot ask men to speak and then make them feel weak when they do.** A boy who is repeatedly told not to cry does not necessarily stop hurting. He may simply learn to hide the hurt. And hidden pain does not automatically disappear when that boy becomes a man. Mark gives us a powerful image: suppressing painful emotions can be like holding a beach ball beneath the water. Eventually, what has been forced down wants to rise again. His message is that what we continually resist and suppress can become stronger. If we are concerned about men reaching emotional crisis, then our compassion must begin much earlier. We need to allow boys to have feelings, encourage men to speak, listen without immediately judging, and make seeking appropriate help an expression of strength rather than shame. **Men need a voice. Men need to be heard. And men need to know that asking for help does not make them less of a man.** **— Zenzi SewaahFounder & Spiritual Visionary, Spiritual Infinity** **Guest Bio & Contact Details** **Mark Stubbles** is a hypnotherapist, author and speaker whose work encompasses **inner-child healing, anxiety, trauma, emotional wellbeing and personal transformation**. His professional path grew from his own experience of overcoming significant anxiety and childhood emotional wounds through hypnotherapy, personal development and inner-child work. Mark works with individuals and delivers workshops, including inner-child healing workshops. He is also the author of books including ***Hypnotic Conversations*** and ***Hypnotic Language for Positive Parenting***. **Website:** **MarkStubbles.comYouTube:** Search **Mark StubblesBooks:** Available through Amazon, with selected titles also featured on his website. Get full access to Zenzi’s Substack at zenzisewaah.substack.com/subscribe