Mm-hmm.

So yeah, I ended up leaving her, uh, divorcing her.

Went through the divorce courts.

Um, and like I say, I wasn't perfect, but neither was she.

And when you, when you're a woman and you go through the divorce courts, all you have to say is that you were abused in some way, and the court will just take, just take your word for it.

So we had that.

Um, and then she got 80% of the house.

Um, so from, from, from there, take it from there on.

Over five years

... yeah, during the five years of never knowing when I'd see my, if I'd see my daughter again, um, I saw a counselor.

And it was useful because it enabled me to start to externalize some of the toxic shame, some of the dysfunction I'd internalized, but I didn't find the c- I didn't get on particularly well with the counselor.

Again, like you said, men kind of have this, um, reputation as being violent or potentially violent.

In terms of children, statistically a child is actually two times safer with their father than their, than their mother.

Some- something like that.

If you say that to, you know, a, a psychologist, they'll...

Um, so from, from, from there, take it from there on.