Jul 31, 2026 · 40 min · 10 segments
In this episode of Reimagine Childhood from the Early Childhood Christian Network, host Monica Healer welcomes Devon Kuntzman, founder of Transforming Toddlerhood, certified coach with a psychology…
These babies are now trying to separate themselves into unique individuals, separate from their mama, their daddy, their caregivers, and become somebody totally separate, which means mine separately.
Yes, or looking you in the eye and doing the thing that you just told them not to do.
All of those behaviors that when we don't understand what's happening can really, really make our blood boil.
So in these moments, what is happening is that your toddler is discovering that they're their own individual.
So they are experimenting and exploring with what they're capable of and how the environment reacts to them.
But then we as the adults... we start getting frustrated because we're trying to be in control.
We think, and oftentimes society also tells us we have to be in control of kids, right? And if you're not, you're like a bad parent or something.
You can be in charge and you can use connection to create influence, which can create cooperation, but you can't actually control someone else.
And wow, two-year-olds really love to show us that, right? They love to show us that.
So what I always tell parents and caregivers when it comes to power struggles is that it takes two people to be in a power struggle.
And if we have a child with an immature brain that's lacking impulse control and regulation skills that is developmentally driven to experiment and explore and exert their will, then If we are waiting on them to leave the power struggle, we are going to be there forever.
These babies are now trying to separate themselves into unique individuals, separate from their mama, their daddy, their caregivers, and become somebody totally separate, which means mine separately.
Yes, or looking you in the eye and doing the thing that you just told them not to do.
All of those behaviors that when we don't understand what's happening can really, really make our blood boil.
So in these moments, what is happening is that your toddler is discovering that they're their own individual.
So they are experimenting and exploring with what they're capable of and how the environment reacts to them.
But then we as the adults... we start getting frustrated because we're trying to be in control.
We think, and oftentimes society also tells us we have to be in control of kids, right? And if you're not, you're like a bad parent or something.
You can be in charge and you can use connection to create influence, which can create cooperation, but you can't actually control someone else.
And wow, two-year-olds really love to show us that, right? They love to show us that.
So what I always tell parents and caregivers when it comes to power struggles is that it takes two people to be in a power struggle.
And if we have a child with an immature brain that's lacking impulse control and regulation skills that is developmentally driven to experiment and explore and exert their will, then If we are waiting on them to leave the power struggle, we are going to be there forever.
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