Or asking them to do

something and they run the opposite direction.

All of those behaviors that when we don't understand what's happening can really, really make our blood boil.

So in these moments, what is happening is that your toddler is discovering that they're their own individual.

So they are experimenting and exploring with what they're capable of and how the environment reacts to them.

And the environment includes all of us adults.

So they are experimenting and exploring with that.

So what do we do in the classroom? What do we do as parents and caregivers? How can we help our young children and also ourselves?

[laughs]

And then they use it, and they use it, and they use it as long as it's successful.

But what's really great about every habit, as we know, even, like, in the health and wellness space, like, we can change our habits.

We, sh- habits, new habits can be created.

And so anyways, we'll dive into more, more of that, you know, uh, later in this conversation.

But I do wanna touch on the toddler brain because when-W- at Transforming Toddlerhood, the main thing that I'm teaching parents and caregivers is how to parent with your child's development, not against it.

So we wanna use what I call developmentally smart parenting tools.

[laughs]

How do we become their ally in having... creative

outdoor spaces to explore too.

Yes it's like creating that yes space inside and that yes space outside and I love these ideas that you're giving because in the end we don't need a very large space to be able to accomplish this and anytime that we can encourage movement for a child instead of restricting movement especially movement that would be classified as heavy work so the This idea of doing pull-ups and things like this where there's resistance or jumping on the rebounder.

This can be very, very regulating because it gives sensory input to kids and it helps regulate their sensory system and their nervous system.

So they're going to end up being calmer.

in the long run.

And so this idea of cultivating movement instead of restricting movement is so important.

But what are some strategies for navigating bedtime within the boundaries of a family unit who might have time constraints?

So what are some of those new habits we can learn to build? I know you said you'll walk us through the process, but like what are some of those things we can like just have it a- as new habits to build toward?

toward?Yes.

Well, the first habit is absolutely asking the right questions, right? Or asking questions from a place of a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset, which is exactly what you just modeled, knowing that we can grow, we can learn, and we can change, and that...

So asking those questions is so incredibly impor- important.

The second thing is to start creating that awareness.

So we just wanna start realizing whenever we lose it, whenever we get frustrated, when we're getting triggered, even if we re- realize it five hours later, still acknowledging even to yourself that it happened.

And it's so important because if we're not creating specific awareness around the moments that we are getting frustrated and losing our patience, it's really hard to create change because awareness is the first step of creating change.

So how can we avoid passing on generational patterns and/or how do we even become aware of those? Because I feel like when they're programmed so young, sometimes they're even hard to notice because they are so much a part of our frame of reference for life.

So how would you say today's environment impacts toddlers differently than it did even five to 10 years ago?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, first, we are in a society that is extremely fast-paced and extremely overscheduled.

And because our lives in general are very overscheduled, and then there is this idea that we need kids to be doing all these things very early on, whether it's, you know, already, like, learning how to play chess, or so taking-- like, three-year-olds taking chess lessons, or maybe, um, you know, being in soccer at age three, things like this, that children are getting their lives very, very overscheduled.

And then there is not a lot of space for unstructured play.

And we know from the research that this lack of unstructured play leads to a lot of, um-- it's correlated with a lot of outcomes that are not favorable, like increase in anxiety and less problem-solving skills, because kids need freedom to experiment and explore and to learn through play, because play is the best way for kids to learn, especially for the first five years.

Not to mention if we're feeling stressed by being so overscheduled, not to mention the state of our world and all of the, you know, adult things that we're sifting through and hearing on the news all the time, um, our emotions are contagious, and we know this through the neuroscience that, um, kids are going to pick up on how we're feeling.

So what does a healthy, developmentally appropriate boundary look like for a toddler?

Can you talk about how to deal with that? Like, in, one of the things you talk a lot about is just expectations.

Yeah.

Um, well, I had the same exact- ... thing happened to me the other day where the granola bar was broken in half, but actually my toddler didn't freak out, but I was braced for it.

Then I was like, "Oh, he doesn't care today.

I guess we're past that point." Um, you know, but I think that's the thing is, like, toddlers' brains are developing so rapidly that everything is changing on a daily basis, weekly basis, monthly basis, so something that's going to really upset your toddler now is going to not be a big deal three weeks from now.

But there's gonna be something else that feels like a really big deal to them, and I think there's a couple of things happening.

First, because that development's happening so rapidly, and we see toddlers being so independent physically, and then they're able to talk to us, we think that they have emotional development.

8th.