The Narcissist’s Favorite Game: Make You React, Then Blame You with Dr. Les Carter | S5E01

Well, first, again, I've been with you before, Lisa, and thank you so much for allowing me to be on your broadcast here again.

I was a therapist in the Dallas-Fort Worth area for about 41 years.

And so that means I had a whole lot of one-on-one experience with a lot of people.

I ran a lot of anger management classes and many different seminars on emotional well-being, et cetera.

And so I've been down in the trenches for a long time.

And one of the things that if you're going to be an effective communicator is you need to be learning from the people that you engage with.

And so therapy for me was just a learning process.

And because I would learn more and more as I would talk to the individuals in my office about human nature and why we do the things we do and what our motives might be and You know, people teach me.

Sometimes you think you have a topic all figured out.

Someone comes along and says, well, I have a different angle here.

It's like, okay, let's pursue that.

And so life for me as a therapist has been a learning process.

I absolutely love getting input from the people that I work with.

And as a result, it comes out in the way that I talk with other individuals who may have some similar issues.

And as you might imagine, in my counseling office, one of the biggest problems that I would have is people having to come to terms with their own responsibilities.

So many times when people come in, they'll tell me about all sorts of difficulties.

difficult things in their life right then or in their past.

And I can appreciate all of that.

But ultimately, we're going to need to get to that place where we ask the question, so where do you want to go with all of this? And when you get to that question with the narcissistic person, it's like, I want to change all of you people out there so that I don't have to struggle anymore.

So let's get going.

So they want to just take charge and tell you what you're supposed to be so that you can prop them up because they're so weak and inadequate on the inside.

And of course, this doesn't really bode well for a relationship because one of the primary things we need to have is a sense of accountability and responsibility and reliability, trustworthiness.

And narcissists don't emphasize that in the least.

They sure don't.

It's the most crazy making part of this, you know, the way that it almost feels like they turn relationships into a game.