#21 - Monique - When Nobody Believed Me: A Story of Cerebral Palsy, Medical Gaslighting and Trusting Yourself

**When Nobody Believed Me: Monique's Story of Cerebral Palsy, Medical Gaslighting and Trusting Yourself** *This episode contains themes of medical mistreatment and dismissal. If you have experienced something similar, please know that your instincts matter, your voice matters, and resources to support you are listed below.* Most of us like to think of ourselves as open minded. Non-judgmental. But what if our judgment isn't something we're aware of — because it lives quietly inside our own experience, our own circumstances? What if we can only see as far as where we have stood? That is where this conversation begins. Today I'm sitting down with Monique. A mother who noticed early on that something wasn't quite right with her child. Who raised her concerns — and wasn't believed. Who kept pushing, kept questioning, kept advocating — until she finally got the answers her child needed. Answers that confirmed her daughter had been born with a mild form of cerebral palsy. But this episode is about so much more than a diagnosis. It is about what happens when the medical system dismisses a mother's instinct. About the mistreatment Monique experienced along the way. About the choices she made — some of which were unconventional, some of which raised eyebrows, and all of which were hers to make. About a woman who questions the world around her, who challenges what doesn't convince her, and who refuses to accept an answer simply because it comes from authority. And it is about what she says, quietly and with great kindness, at the end of it all: my choice is my choice, and your choice is yours. This episode may challenge you. It may make you uncomfortable at moments. But I'd invite you to listen with openness — and with kindness. Because Monique isn't here to convince you of anything. She simply wants to share her story, and to remind us all that there is not only one right way. **In this episode we talk about:** - Becoming a mother and the early signs that something wasn't quite right - Not being believed by medical professionals — and what that experience felt like - The diagnosis of mild cerebral palsy and the road to getting there - The choices Monique made along the way and the responses she received - Taking matters into her own hands when the system let her down - Questioning authority, doing your own research, and trusting your instincts - What she has learned about herself — as a person and as a mother - Her powerful closing message: my choice is my choice, your choice is yours **If you feel you have been dismissed, mistreated, or not listened to by the NHS, here is how to raise a complaint:** **PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service)** is a free, confidential service available in most hospitals. They can help you resolve issues informally without needing to make a formal complaint. A great first port of call if you are not sure where to start — nhs.uk/nhs-services/hospitals/what-is-pals-patient-advice-and-liaison-service NHS England **NHS England Complaints** — you can make a formal complaint directly to NHS England by emailing [england.contactus@nhs.net](mailto:england.contactus@nhs.net), marking it "For the attention of the complaints team." Full guidance here — england.nhs.uk/contact-us/feedback-and-complaints/complaint NHS England **Action Against Medical Accidents (AvMA)** is an independent charity that can help patients consider their options after suffering a medical accident, including providing contacts for specialist solicitors. Find them at avma.org.uk House of Commons Library **Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman (PHSO)** — if you are not satisfied with how your complaint has been handled, you can escalate to the Ombudsman. It is a free, independent service. Visit ombudsman.org.uk or call 0345 015 4033. NHS England **Healthwatch** — an independent statutory body that helps make sure your feedback is heard. Search for your local Healthwatch online to find support and complaints advocacy in your area. House of Commons Library **Resources for Cerebral Palsy:** - **Cerebral Palsy UK** — cerebralpalsy.org.uk — information, support and guidance for families - **Scope** — scope.org.uk — disability charity offering support for families of children with cerebral palsy - **Contact** — contact.org.uk — support for families of children with any disability or medical condition *If this episode resonated with you — whether because you have felt dismissed by the medical system, or because Monique's story challenged the way you think — please share it. There is a parent out there who needs to hear this today.* *And as Monique so beautifully puts it: my choice is my choice, your choice is yours. 💛* **💛 Raising with the Village** This podcast is about real parents sharing real stories — because no one should feel alone in parenthood.  New episodes every Thursday! 🌐 Website: https://raisingwith.co.uk/ 📸 Instagram: @raisingwiththevillage 🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and all major platforms. If you’d like to share your own story — about birth, parenting, or family life — get in touch via the website or Instagram DMs.