Peace at Home Parenting Podcast
Jul 29, 2026 · 58 min · 8 segments
Every parent has questions—and sometimes the most reassuring answer is knowing you're not alone. In this special Ask Ruth Anything episode, Peace At Home Parenting founder Ruth Freeman, LCSW…
Ruth FreemanHost
One very common question is, how do I get my kid to listen to me? And actually, in the United States, parents value their parenting based on whether my kids do what I want when I want it.

For example, um, a graduate student once told me that in the Italian culture, parents look at, um, uh, sociability and how friendly kids are and how social they are as an indicator of, am I a good parent? In the United States, we often look for compliance, and honestly, uh, I think that compliance is way overrated.

Having kids who always do what you want them to do, um, is convenient, and it's great to have cooperative kids.

But, um, it isn't probably the most important thing in terms of their development and their lifelong happiness and success.

Things that I look for in kids, um, as they grow and develop, since I've seen our kids launch, is confidence, courage, curiosity, and the ability to have positive relationships.

And unfortunately, we often do things to win compliance 'cause it's so important to us that might hurt those other things, like confidence and curiosity.

One of the most important premises for kids to cooperate, to do what you want when you want it, is to feel emotionally safe in their home.

And it might surprise parents to learn what, what might prevent kids from feeling emotionally safe.

Does anybody have any ideas about what might prevent kids from feeling emotionally safe? You can raise your hand.

One very common question is, how do I get my kid to listen to me? And actually, in the United States, parents value their parenting based on whether my kids do what I want when I want it.

For example, um, a graduate student once told me that in the Italian culture, parents look at, um, uh, sociability and how friendly kids are and how social they are as an indicator of, am I a good parent? In the United States, we often look for compliance, and honestly, uh, I think that compliance is way overrated.

Having kids who always do what you want them to do, um, is convenient, and it's great to have cooperative kids.

But, um, it isn't probably the most important thing in terms of their development and their lifelong happiness and success.

Things that I look for in kids, um, as they grow and develop, since I've seen our kids launch, is confidence, courage, curiosity, and the ability to have positive relationships.

And unfortunately, we often do things to win compliance 'cause it's so important to us that might hurt those other things, like confidence and curiosity.

One of the most important premises for kids to cooperate, to do what you want when you want it, is to feel emotionally safe in their home.

And it might surprise parents to learn what, what might prevent kids from feeling emotionally safe.

Does anybody have any ideas about what might prevent kids from feeling emotionally safe? You can raise your hand.
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