Parenting: Should I bribe my child with babyccinos?
Jul 15, 2026 · 19 min · 10 segments
Child Psychotherapist Joanna Fortune joins guest host Tom Dunne to answer your parenting questions…
- Speakers
Joanna FortuneGuest
Tom DunneHost
Jul 15, 2026 · 19 min · 10 segments
Child Psychotherapist Joanna Fortune joins guest host Tom Dunne to answer your parenting questions…
Joanna FortuneGuestTom DunneHost
Um, this just says, "We're having some behavioral issues with our five-year-old, the usual things, such as hitting, kicking, uh, pinching.
My parenting book advises against these because it says it forces the child into the idea that good behavior equals treats and privileges, but my neighbor says it has worked wonders.
Look, and I'm not demonizing them, Tom, either, because, like, look, you're n- if they're working for your neighbor, they work for some kids.
That kind of behavior chart is quite shaming because it's hanging up there for the world to see that somebody's up to something or doing something or failing at something, and they're, y- it is making that association between if something is worth doing, it's worth doing for the reward rather than the activity itself.
You're just looking at the behavior that's problematic, and you're looking to change that behavior.
I tend to approach challenging behavior in a different way, that it's not a child being difficult, but more a sign that a child is having a difficulty.
So the behavior that you see on the outside, whatever they're doing or saying, is not the problem per se.
It is an expression of an underlying problem, and unless you get to what's underpinning that behavior, you'll solve one behavior with your sticker chart, and then you'll have a sticker chart for a new behavior, and a sticker chart for a new behavior, and you'll end up playing symptom Whac-A-Mole.
So if, if it's usual, when did it start, you know? And what are his stimulation levels? I'm thinking he's five.
Um, this just says, "We're having some behavioral issues with our five-year-old, the usual things, such as hitting, kicking, uh, pinching.
My parenting book advises against these because it says it forces the child into the idea that good behavior equals treats and privileges, but my neighbor says it has worked wonders.
Look, and I'm not demonizing them, Tom, either, because, like, look, you're n- if they're working for your neighbor, they work for some kids.
That kind of behavior chart is quite shaming because it's hanging up there for the world to see that somebody's up to something or doing something or failing at something, and they're, y- it is making that association between if something is worth doing, it's worth doing for the reward rather than the activity itself.
You're just looking at the behavior that's problematic, and you're looking to change that behavior.
I tend to approach challenging behavior in a different way, that it's not a child being difficult, but more a sign that a child is having a difficulty.
So the behavior that you see on the outside, whatever they're doing or saying, is not the problem per se.
It is an expression of an underlying problem, and unless you get to what's underpinning that behavior, you'll solve one behavior with your sticker chart, and then you'll have a sticker chart for a new behavior, and a sticker chart for a new behavior, and you'll end up playing symptom Whac-A-Mole.
So if, if it's usual, when did it start, you know? And what are his stimulation levels? I'm thinking he's five.
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