277. From Tension to Turn On with Sapphire Leela

And so you work a lot with somatics.

So let's talk a little bit.

Like, we have traditional talk therapy, and then we have now this, like, more somatic side that is really, really becoming more up and coming in the world here in the US as well.

Mm-hmm.

And so many people are like, "What's somatics?" Like, "What is, what does that mean? What are you gonna have me doing?" So I'd love to hear just in the work that you're doing, like, how do you see talk therapy and somatics differing?

differing?Wow.

Yeah.

In so many ways, and at the same time, I find them very complementing.

So the way I, I said it, uh, I said it to every client when I have a, a discovery call with them.

So when I learned psychology, it's a very bottom... a top-down approach, right? We go from, we, we take a theory, we, we understand something in the world.

Okay, let's take sh- sexual shame.

Oh, sexual shame is probably derived from what happened to you then, and then it created this, and neurons, and this and this.

All of it is valuable and precious and needed.

But I think, um, in any realm, but m- even more when we talk about sexuality and relationships, it is in our bodies.

So, uh, I gonna give obviously the biggest, uh, shout-out to, uh, The Body Keeps the Score book-

Mm-hmm

... which I'm sure many of your, of your, uh, listeners have heard about it, probably from other professionals.

It's, it's already proven by research that sexual trauma and, uh, the way we attached and learn attachment is all interwoven in our nervous system in, in the way we are even m- muscle memory, um, and everything about that.

So when I'm working in sexual shame, yes, I'm gonna take the cognitive and I'm gonna go with you back to the story behind it, and the narrative, and the limited beliefs in the cognitive, which is beautiful.

Mm-hmm.

But then I'm gonna complement it with, where does the sexual shame meet you in real life? How do you feel it in your body? Does sexual shame impact your posture? Does it impact how much you express yourself? And can we, in a way, and this a bit maybe like a spoiler into the, into the framework that I'm working with, I'm kinda taking inspiration from CBT, where we are working to change the behavior through the cognitive.

Mm-hmm.

I'm also believing that we can change the behavior through the body.

Mm-hmm.

If I change something in my posture in moments that shame comes, maybe something will change in the cognitive and then, or in the behavior, or both.