How Family Dynamics Shift After Baby: Two Under Two, Boundaries, and Nervous System Support

And I guess your role with your partner, your husband, how did that change and shift? Especially, I just can't get over, I love talking to the moms.

My best friend is one of them.

She, her kids are actually 18 months apart and then she's pregnant again with her third and they are all 18 months.

And so she just like, anyway, I love talking to her because she, She leans on her husband heavily for support.

How did you lean on your husband for support, especially being in Georgia, right? Like you're far away from family.

Your community is a plane ride away or a very long car ride away.

You know, how was that dynamic for you? I, it was very stressful, stressful for

me and stressful for him.

I also was not working.

So he was the sole provider and I had to lean virtually everything on him.

And I know that was very difficult on him.

It was very difficult on our relationship as well.

We were really, what is the word? I don't even want to say that we were necessarily more teammates, but We I guess I guess it's what we were.

We were kind of two players in this wild field doing our best to really get through it.

And even at night, like my son's room and nursery was empty.

the guest room which eventually became all the way his room but we kept the guest bed in there and there would be so many nights where i would be sleeping in the guest bed next to him in the crib if he wasn't actually just in the bed with me and then my husband he was on night duty for my oldest because some are sleeping through the night at that those ages 18 months two years old and others are not and that was my daughter so it was yeah it was not necessarily like trading off who's sleeping it was more trading off who's handling what kid and it was really hard for him because there were certain things my daughter hard for him and hard for my daughter too because there were certain things she wanted from me that I wasn't able to give her that he had to give her and And yeah, it was just hard on the entire family system.

And I will say right before, you know, it's funny how people come into our life at the right timing.

I met two very close friends in Georgia.

We remain.

So we moved back to Florida also about a year ago.

last summer for frame of reference on timeline but two very close friends right one of them right when i became pregnant with my second and the other right before my second was born and it was beautiful to have them and both of them their family lived there too so we kind of were able to like adopt an extra family But it's still not your family.

Like, you're still not picking up the phone.

And of course, they have their own children, too, and their own lives and everything.

So we did end up finding people, but it was still really us in the trenches.

And I will say, just to be completely transparent, it did a number on our relationship.