Love and Money: A Conversation with Dr. Ford and Dr. Hargrove

And I want to extend you the opportunity to give us, starting with you, Dr. Hargrove, just a couple actionable tips for folks.

Let's do one for someone who's neurodivergent, managing money, let's say specifically ADHD.

And then the second tip for you, Dr. Hargrove, would be if you're married to somebody.

who has ADHD.

And then Dr. Ford, be thinking about a tip that you want to share based on your expertise.

Dr. Hargrove, go ahead.

Oh man, this is a good one.

I would say when you are neurodiverse, odds are good you've had a really rough go of it with finances on the objective angle or the objective side or on the subjective side.

So recognizing and accepting that you're going to have emotions about money, roll with it.

you can continue to move forward alongside your big emotions.

Lots of ways to handle it, but don't let the emotions be the thing that get in the way of you really showing up for yourself and showing up for your financially successful future self.

So I like to say, you know, If you're really money avoidant, pretend that your bank accounts are in a meat locker and you know you're going to have to go into this uncomfortable situation every time you go into that room.

Like wear a coat, bring some hot cocoa, have somebody set a timer and force you to leave.

Imagine like I will be uncomfortable.

That is just a fact.

Now start to equip yourself to be able to cope with those emotions and do it anyway.

So I like to say that I would say for couples, There has got to be, say this for neurodiverse couples, but I think it's true for everybody, right? Like in general, rising tide floats all ships.

So whatever works for ADHD tends to work for a lot of people.

There has got to be a good enough financial approach.

Okay.

Like it's not like what Talladega Nights, right? Like if you're not first, you're last.

Like this is not a dichotomous situation.

There has got to be like there's a b c d is getting questionable f is not passing but like a c is passing a b is pretty darn good and a is like is that really necessary but okay cool like i'm on board but you don't need to have a thousand percent as your gpa like it doesn't make sense so there's got to be a good enough approach to finances not that everyone is thrilled But having a level of good enough that we can roll with it is really important for couples because perfection is, first of all, a myth.

And second, love diminishing returns because you can have perfect finances and shred your relationship in the process.

That is really well said.