30. The Art of the Apology: How to Repair Relationships with Jon Bui

In this episode of the Men Need Love Too podcast, Kat Anna sits down with Jon Bui, a Lewis and Clark law school graduate and founder of The Negotiated Apology, to discuss how to apologize, conflict resolution and rebuilding trust. Through Jon's personal experiences and professional insights, we explore accountability, empathy, self-forgiveness and practical ways to give an apology that actually repairs a relationship. Most of us were never taught how to apologize. Jon approaches it like a negotiation, because in many ways it is one: one person has to persuade, and the other holds the power to forgive. That's exactly why so many of us avoid it. Jon shows that a real apology isn't about changing the past, it's about changing the future, and he walks through what a sincere one sounds like, live. Whether you owe an apology or you're owed one, this conversation gives you the words. Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:31 Meet Jon Bui 02:44 Why apologies are so hard 04:49 Apologizing to yourself 06:08 Start with acknowledgement 07:18 Apologies change the future, not the past 09:29 Rebuilding a relationship stronger 12:47 Why some of us can't apologize 15:17 The top three reasons people don't 16:23 The power imbalance 18:37 Flowers aren't an apology 21:27 Being witnessed in your pain 22:42 Empathy as information gathering 25:02 Treat it like your only chance 28:29 "Sorry for what?" 32:12 Bravery and practicing small apologies 34:34 Should you wait to apologize? 38:44 When you're the one owed an apology 41:00 When you both did something wrong 46:10 Self-forgiveness 53:33 Turning pain into purpose 57:36 A live mock apology 1:00:16 Breaking down the apology 1:04:26 Explanation vs excuse 1:07:01 Get in front of your bad facts 1:12:52 Where to find Jon ABOUT JON Jon teaches conflict resolution using apologies and high-level negotiation strategies regularly employed by lawyers. As a graduate of Lewis & Clark School of Law, he is transforming the conflict resolution industry by empowering people with strategy and empathy to transform mistakes into relationship building opportunities. His training is essential for organizations seeking to build a powerful and everlasting positive culture; and for leaders who wish to lead with trust, accountability, and humanity. CONNECT WITH JON Website: https://www.thenegotiatedapology.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenegotiatedapologyproject?vrfl=NHo1ZDg3M3owd3po Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/14usZ8vAQNL/ CONNECT WITH MEN NEED LOVE TOO Website: https://www.menneedlovetoo.org Kings Academy: https://menneedlovetoo.org/kings-academy/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1Bh9FgzbxR/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/men.need.love.too?igsh=MTR2dXNieDE3ZngyNw== Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MenNeedLoveTooPodcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kat-anna-1a7bb0358 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@menneedlovetoo.org?\_r=1&\_t=ZS-97LearC7OJb TAKE ACTION Sign the petition to include men in global domestic violence data: https://www.change.org/includemenglobaldvdata If this conversation resonated with you, subscribe, leave a review, share this episode and help more men discover these conversations. #MenNeedLoveToo #Accountability #HealthyRelationships