Sandra Smith's LIVE Testimony with Lift Up Nations Podcast!

So let's walk through your life.

Let's start where you were in Catholic school.

And was there any kind of issues, problems, things you saw throughout that time that was concerning or you had issues with? Well,

you know, I lived in a middle class family.

And there wasn't a whole lot of issues there it wasn't until um i got married to my ex-husband and that was all fine he was in the service while he was in the service it was fine it wasn't until he got out that things changed and he went to um back to a persona that i didn't know um you know before i met him and he got into drinking and he got into drugs and Life just went to hell in a handbasket after that.

It was it was hard.

It was a struggle.

I didn't know how to deal with it.

And I really didn't.

I was close to my mom and dad, but I didn't know how to talk about that, although I know they knew something was going on.

But it grew the rages, the verbal abuse, the emotional abuse.

And at times physical um my youngest son never got any of the brunt of it but my oldest son did uh and it took a toll on his life he is now saved um doing well but my youngest son was killed in an automobile accident so i had to deal with that he was about to turn you know he was he was about to turn 18 years old I about to go into his senior year and he had an automobile accident, flipped his car.

Had to do with that, still dealing with the addictions of my ex-husband.

The emotional turmoil that was going on inside of me was unreal.

Every time I tried to talk to him and tell him that you're hurting us, He would always turn it around and oh, it's all about you.

Well, it was during that time that I couldn't take it.

And we lived in Texas at the time and we lived on a piece of property and I had bad back, still do, but I was taking muscle relaxers.

And I said, Lord, the blackness, The darkness, the overwhelming pain, it just consumed me.

So people are out there and they've had to deal with somebody who tried to commit suicide.

They didn't want to leave you.

It's just that darkness is so thick.

It just consumes you and you can't think of nothing else.

You don't see anything else.

You don't feel anything else or anybody.

Nothing exists but that and you want to get away from it.