Loving Others Without Losing Yourself [ENCORE]

Esther found herself married to King Xerxes, one of the most powerful rulers of the Persian Empire.

Yet, despite being immersed in a culture very different from her Jewish upbringing, Esther retained her identity and her faith.

What's the secret? Stay tuned to find out.

And despite living in a time and a culture... where the voice and opinions of women were not respected or encouraged, Esther still managed to leave her mark on the course of history because of how she conducted her relationship with her husband, the king.

That's right, Michael.

That's a fascinating story.

Because many people today struggle with navigating differences in relationships.

Especially when there's a strong personality, cultural pressure, or even a power imbalance.

People can slowly begin to lose their voice or suppress who they really are.

So Michael, what are the dangers of not staying true to who you are in a relationship?

That's such an important question.

And I think it's one that we need to go into a bit here, Denise, because losing yourself in a relationship may be as a result of trying to maintain the peace.

But while that might be okay in the short run, it creates problems in the long term.

And psychologically, it creates a lot of emotional problem for the person who is hiding themselves or giving up themselves.

So when individuals suppress their identity or compromise their values and their convictions, Just in order to maintain a relationship, this creates what psychologists call enmeshment.

And in an enmeshment relationship, the boundaries between the two individuals become blurred, and one person's needs are not being met.

Their expectations are not important.

Their goals are irrelevant.

And everything is geared to the goals and interests of the other parties.

So in their book, Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Towson, they explain that healthy relationships require clear ownership of the self.

And so each person is responsible for their thoughts, their feelings, and their choice.

And their needs must be met in the relationship for the relationship to be stable and productive.

Because a relationship in which one person's needs are not being met will either eventually crumble or the person whose need is not being met needs are not being met, we'll end up suffering emotional harm.

So Esther gives us a beautiful picture of how we should navigate relationship where there is cultural difference, where there is power imbalance, or other factors that are creating conflict.

conflict or challenge for the relationship.