Sep 11, 2026 · 24 min · 8 segments
Why Do I Overthink Everything? Why does your mind replay conversations, search for certainty, and circle the same question without ever reaching an answer? In the first episode of our Overthinking…
Kamari ValentineHost
Overthinking is not a sign that you're in any way incapable of making decisions, weak, that you have a mind out of control or that you're doing the wrong thing.
Usually this issue of overthinking begins with something very understandable.
It looks backwards to understand what's happening to learn from that and forwards to try and predict what might happen next.
And this ability helps us as human beings to prepare, to make sense of our experiences, repair relationships and avoid repeating mistakes.
Thinking is useful and entirely encouraged in our culture where we hear expressions like just think about it, think before you act, think Maybe you need to think further.
There's all this emphasis on thinking and how amazing thinking is, but relatively few tools about the types of thinking or what thinking might be useful.
So sometimes the mind keeps working after the useful or problem-focused thinking has run out.
Instead of moving towards an answer and action, it might start looping or circling.
We might revisit the same questions, the same thoughts, and search for a certainty that doesn't exist anymore.
try to think our way out of an uncomfortable feeling or, as I will discuss in later episodes, we're avoiding feeling certain feelings and we might think of rumination or overthinking as an avoidance strategy.
Why did I say that? What does this mean about you? What should I have done differently? Whereas worry is typically focused on the future.
What if this goes wrong? What if I cannot cope? What if I make the wrong choice? And before I go further, I want to acknowledge the really amazing work by Professor Susan Nolan-Hooksimmer, who has since passed away.
Incidentally, my PhD was about rumination and rumination in romantic relationships and mood.
I feel like this is always a topic that I could talk a lot about, but more about that in some other episodes.
Overthinking is not a sign that you're in any way incapable of making decisions, weak, that you have a mind out of control or that you're doing the wrong thing.
Usually this issue of overthinking begins with something very understandable.
It looks backwards to understand what's happening to learn from that and forwards to try and predict what might happen next.
And this ability helps us as human beings to prepare, to make sense of our experiences, repair relationships and avoid repeating mistakes.
Thinking is useful and entirely encouraged in our culture where we hear expressions like just think about it, think before you act, think Maybe you need to think further.
There's all this emphasis on thinking and how amazing thinking is, but relatively few tools about the types of thinking or what thinking might be useful.
So sometimes the mind keeps working after the useful or problem-focused thinking has run out.
Instead of moving towards an answer and action, it might start looping or circling.
We might revisit the same questions, the same thoughts, and search for a certainty that doesn't exist anymore.
try to think our way out of an uncomfortable feeling or, as I will discuss in later episodes, we're avoiding feeling certain feelings and we might think of rumination or overthinking as an avoidance strategy.
Why did I say that? What does this mean about you? What should I have done differently? Whereas worry is typically focused on the future.
What if this goes wrong? What if I cannot cope? What if I make the wrong choice? And before I go further, I want to acknowledge the really amazing work by Professor Susan Nolan-Hooksimmer, who has since passed away.
Incidentally, my PhD was about rumination and rumination in romantic relationships and mood.
I feel like this is always a topic that I could talk a lot about, but more about that in some other episodes.
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