Jonny Hartwell Condensed Soup Recap
10/13: Day #2 for Trivia & The Return of Helium Theatre
Oct 13, 2026 · 9 min · 7 segments
Day #2 for Trivia & The Return of Helium Theatre
Jonny Hartwell Condensed Soup Recap
Oct 13, 2026 · 9 min · 7 segments
Day #2 for Trivia & The Return of Helium Theatre
I just saw my parents.
Oh my God, they're getting goofy.
[laughs]
My father bought my mother one of those, uh, weapons-grade jackhammer massage guns.
Have you seen these things?
[laughs]
These new torture devices they're just selling to old people to try on each other.
[laughs]
No background check, no licensing-
[laughs]
... no training of any kind.
[laughs]
My father just aimed it at my mother's shoulder and hit the trigger.
[laughs]
Wasn't good.
Wasn't good.
[laughs]
It just gathered up her skin like pancake batter.
[laughs]
She couldn't get away.
He couldn't turn it off.
[laughs]
[laughs]
Yeah, it got the knot out.
I just saw my parents.
Oh my God, they're getting goofy.
[laughs]
My father bought my mother one of those, uh, weapons-grade jackhammer massage guns.
Have you seen these things?
[laughs]
These new torture devices they're just selling to old people to try on each other.
[laughs]
No background check, no licensing-
[laughs]
... no training of any kind.
[laughs]
My father just aimed it at my mother's shoulder and hit the trigger.
[laughs]
Wasn't good.
Wasn't good.
[laughs]
It just gathered up her skin like pancake batter.
[laughs]
She couldn't get away.
He couldn't turn it off.
[laughs]
[laughs]
Yeah, it got the knot out.
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